The Idiot’s Guide To Citi Field

(Author’s note: This is just one man’s unbiased, impartial view of Citi Field. In no way am I implying that I am speaking for all Mets fans. Just my thoughts)

After surviving a brutally cold winter in the northeast, last Sunday was one of those beautiful spring days that made it all worth it.

Upon waking up, I decided that rather than doing the original productive things I had planned, namely sitting around and watching re-runs of King of the Hill until the NBA playoffs started, I wanted to d something productive, and something outdoors.

Maybe go for a hike? Nope, after a winter of sitting on the couch, my lung capacity wasn’t nearly there. Play some hoops? Not really interested in breaking a sweat. How about go to the Mets game? I can sit around, and eat and be outside all at the same time. It’s official, I’m a genius.

After phoning a few friends, me and my buddy Rosa were on our way, without directions, and no tickets in hand, just a few hours before the first pitch.

We did get there right in time, and with it came all the excitement of going to a new stadium for the first time. There were the shiny new signs, and bright new lights, as well as the highs and lows of an afternoon at the park.

Overall it was a great day, but it would have been nice to have a game-plan going in. So with it, I decided to do a little write-up for all you Mets fans out there who may not have made your first excursion to the new park yet.

Here it is folks: Your Idiots Guide to Citi Field

Do: Take Public Transportation If Possible- According to a friend, to get to Citi Field you simply need to take the 7 train from Grand Central. I confirmed this fact via my old pal the internet, and I promise you this is absolutely the best way to go.

Of course despite the advice, we chose to drive in anyways, eschewing the expert opinion of others, for the novelty of the unknown. For a Sunday afternoon the traffic on the Grand Central Parkway was minimal (a plus), but also where the confusion began.

With two exits (22a and 22b) claiming they can get you to Citi Field, it seemed like getting to the stadium would be a breeze. That is, until you actually got off the exits.

Once in Queens, all hell broke loose.

It wasn’t because of the friendly locals (who were more than helpful), but because the signage pointing toward the stadium was arguably the worst I’ve ever seen.

Every direction we went, there were signs pointing toward Citi Field straight ahead. Take a left, Citi Field straight ahead. Go two blocks down, Citi Field straight ahead. Go back in the direction you came, you guessed it, Citi Field straight ahead

I’m sorry but when you take two exits, four turns off each exit, and every sign points to Citi Field straight ahead, someone made an error. It shouldn’t be particularly difficult to find a 42,000 seat stadium, no matter what neighborhood you’re in.

After seeing the same sign for the umpteenth time, we joked that whoever put up the signs had to be on some kind of narcotics. I later rescinded that statement, because even someone on drugs would take more pride in their work. I have zero understanding who approved this work, but my guess is that the whole staff involved knew they were getting fired at the end of the shift and wanted to have some fun. That’s all I’ve got.

Regardless, Flushing is also blessed with some of the nicest locals you’ll find anywhere. It took two or three stops to ask questions, but we did finally get to the stadium, and it was because of the citizens in the surrounding community.

The point I’m trying to make is two-fold:

1) When building a stadium, don’t fire anyone until after the work is complete

2) Take the train to Citi Field if at all possible.

Do: Purchase Your Tickets in Advance- Granted, we decided to go to the game at the last minute, on one of the nicest days of the year. But if and when I plan another excursion to Queens, I will make sure to do so in advance.

Upon arriving at the gates, there were about 8-10 windows just for tickets. Being a new stadium, the staff was more than friendly in pointing us to the correct spot.

However, once there, we found out that the only tickets that were left in pairs were $100 each. Now again, this was our own fault for getting to the game at the last minute, I want to make it clear that we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Luckily being the savvy sports fans that we are, we decided to buy two single tickets, at less than half the price of $48 a piece. No we wouldn’t be seated together, but we’d worry about it once we got in the stadium.

A quick scare happened when I got to the window and they momentarily ran out of tickets in the $48 price range. Luckily my friendly attendant and I stayed calm, he punched a few things in his computer, and bam, another reappeared.

Before leaving, we asked the attendant whether getting to the stadium an hour earlier would have gotten us cheaper tickets, to which he replied, not really, most of the cheap ones were sold in advance or right when the windows opened.

I followed up by asking him, if we were looking for cheaper tickets, how we could get them day of game (author’s note: in the history of follow-up questions, this maybe the dumbest one ever)?

His answer? He looked at me like I had just asked him to borrow a clean urine sample and responded, “Buy them in advance.”

Well there you have it.

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