If you’ve got money problems, I feel bad for you son.
I’ve got 99 problems but K-Rod’s option ain’t one.
I guess old Freddie didn’t wanna pay young Frankie
17.5 million was just too much, you see.
Could you blame him, though? It was unseen
For a closer ever to see, just that much green.
Mariano and Hoffman, even Fingers and Franco
Better than K-Rod – never paid 17 million though.
But don’t get me wrong, I actually liked the young guy
Of course, every opportunity, he surely did try
He’d give us a heart attack and raise our blood pressure
Hopefully the new closer will be a refresher.
The thing of it is, I am sad to see him go
I loved the emotion that on the field he’d show
He drove us crazy but still racked up 83 saves
I wonder what he’ll be doing for the rest of his days.
Off the field no good, on the field a respectable reliever
Goggles or no goggles – I’ll always be a believer.
WHIP of 1.28 and an ERA of 3.05
Played in the all star game – wanted to hit homeruns, not a line drive
Best of luck in Milwaukee and whatever comes after
Except against the Mets, please lose – you’ll bring me laughter.
So one last time – if you’re having money problems, I feel bad for you son.
I’ve got 99 problems but K-rod’s option ain’t one.
Now quickly a shoutout to Beltran – who’s truly my boy
And I know by saying this, Kelly Horn I will annoy
I think he’ll be gone and it does sadden me
That for the remainder of the season, Beltran I won’t see.
I wish it would be easy to get him back next year.
I hate when fans think his play is insincere.
Beltran is a great player and a great person as well
Look up his charitable efforts if you couldn’t tell.
He provided offensive boosts and quiet leadership as well
He was worth it for the Mets, that notion I won’t dispel.
Without Beltran – they wouldn’t have been in contention in ’06, ’07, or ‘08
I wish Alderson wouldn’t have to trade you – Beltran, you’re great.
(Purely for amusement and yes, I know there are some grammatical errors. But I thought it would be a nice change. Have a great day everyone, and LGM!)