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There are three distinct types of Met fan. Which fan type are you? Inquiring minds (and people with too much time on their hands) want to know. Kindly leave the category that best describes you in the comment section of this piece.

Through more than 50 something years, the hybrid Mets fans of today have evolved. What they have become is a class system, something that I feel is a microcosm of today’s world. This is because anyway you slice it, Mets fans are people too.

I know this may be hard for some of you to believe. If you’ve ever eaten a meal with a large group of Mets fans then obviously you have your doubts. But trust me they are.

Mets fans have dreams (or not), they have desires just like you and me. They are not perfect by any stretch, and are rife with neurosis, insecurities and paranoia. But they all have one thing in common, they love their Metsies. And they all fall into these three classifications that I will now detail.

The Doomsday Fan

Mets fans doomsdayThis is the Mets fan that is always in that morbid funk. The ones who suffer with quiet stoicism. Those that can never be satisfied. A World Series victory by the Amazins would leave them confused and suicidal. ‘Is that all there is’ they would wonder? And will it take another thirty years before this franchise can attain that achievement once again? Probably.

And they would end up right back where they started when the Mets were terrible. Calmly complaining about everything and anything team related.

We love these fans though despite their tendencies to be really obnoxious sometimes, because they are realists and we need that. We need fans like them to help keep it real for the rest of us. The kind of fan that understands the fragility and fleeting nature of success in baseball. They keep the rest of us from getting too high and giddy with any modicum of success that our team might experience.

The Chicken Little Fan

Mets sad fanFor those readers that I just lost entirely, let me explain who that is. Chicken Little was a guy in a book. You know those square things that smell funny? He ran around in hysterics yelling that the sky was falling, when of course it was not.

Well as you know there are a large percentage of Mets fans that behave just like that. On the outside they may seem perfectly normal. They may have real lives and could be doctors or nurses, bankers or lawyers, ticket takers or receptionists.

But just mention their Metsies to them and they go berserk. The first thing they do is throw their hands up in exasperation and let out some kind of inarticulate sound. Then they launch into a hysterical diatribe about the curse of being a die-hard Mets fan, and how they should forget about baseball altogether and take up knitting instead.

But it is their ability to focus all of their irrational thoughts on their beloved baseball team that enables them to remain calm and controlled in the other aspects of their lives. Thanks to the Mets these fans can still function in society as if they were normal people.

The Optimistic Mets Fan

Mets fans happyThis is the most hated and reviled type of Mets fan. The kind of Mets fan that is despised by the other two classes of fans. You know the type. They are the ones who when discussing their Mets gush and rave about their beloved team. They will tell you how the Mets are turning the corner, how the future is bright, how winning isn’t everything. Even bad baseball doesn’t upset these folks, nothing will.

They are the ones that go out to Citi Field year after year as if nothing is wrong. They don’t seem to realize or even care that they are paying big league money to see our minor leaguers play big leaguers from other cities.

These happy fans are satisfied just to be alive and have no expectations for their ballclub. They are perfectly okay with rooting for a second division team and are content with what they’ve got.

These three groups maintain a symbiotic relationship with one another in order to survive, just as the rest of society does. As I stated earlier, Mets fans are just people. With all the frailties, weaknesses, and problems that any human must deal with. We Mets fans are not perfect, but we love our Mets.

Just like it takes all kinds to make a world it takes these different types of fans to make up Mets Nation. And as a nation, we are only strong if we stand together and respect one another.

Whatever type of Mets fan you are, stand united with me and all the rest of us, and if nothing else, we will get our self respect back.

Let’s Go Mets!

Mets fans painted