What a strange and long off season it has been for the New York Mets. Pitchers and catchers report in less than a month, and as someone jested on Twitter, we have neither.

After being spurned by Bengie Molina after a five week courtship, Joel Pineiro flat out rejected us even before we could get something going.

We have had so many Plan A’s with regards to a starting pitcher that I’ve actually lost count. So many missed opportunities…

Anyone of these would have looked great.

I believe it all went down in this order:

1. Randy Wolf signs with Brewers.

2. John Lackey signs with Red Sox.

3. Jason Marquis signs with Nationals.

4. Aroldis Chapman signs with Reds.

5. Joel Pineiro signs with Angels.

As of now, there’s no telling who the Mets will target next, but obviously their “one target at a time” strategy has been a colossal failure. The Mets’ tactics were a major turn-off to most of the free agents who prefer to be serenaded these days.

The slow moving market that Omar Minaya kept referring to all off season, has screeched past the Mets and left them in the dust. All that remains now is one or two inning eaters and a handful of injury risks to choose from, some who may not even be ready by opening day.

Chien-Ming Wang, Ben Sheets and Jon Garland are the names you hear most often and what a motley crew they are.

Where have we seen this before?

Your sitting at the bar and it’s 2:00 AM and all the hot and attractive women are long gone. I’m stuck with the three scruffy looking ones at the back table. One more beer and they’ll be looking real good. Two more beers and I’ll be convinced that they were the ones I had my eyes on all along.

Ahh… such is the current Mets dillema…

The worst of it is this…

What happens when we awaken the next morning from our drunken stupor to find ourselves stuck with either Wang, Sheets or Garland?

Heck, even getting back together with my ex (Pedro Martinez) would have been a better option than going home with anyone of those three…

Somebody please pass me the Alka Seltzer… better yet, make that a Bloody Mary….