In Doug’s Dugout today we discuss: The North Atlantic, a Twin Killing, Tulo, and other assorted feeble thoughts.

I suppose if the Titanic once sank in April so can the Mets.  However, it is only two weeks into the season, and way to early to lower the lifeboats, but the team is taking on water.

If you can’t see that with yesterday’s double-header killing you need to remove the rose-colored glasses or get a seeing eye-dog.

That was ugly yesterday.  In fact, if you stayed through the end of game two, you saw the ball boy make the best play on the field for the home team all day.  If only his working papers allowed him to travel with the team.

The outfield defense was offensive.  Can we send the prospective right-fielders out there after shagging many pre-game fungos?  It’s like whomever takes that position for the Mets is negotiating a mine field.  From Lucas Duda to Scott Hairston-even Carlos Beltran let a catchable ball fall at his field (see Chris Capuano’s biting quotes about some hits should’ve been outs).

Moreover, Willie Harris routinely made spectacular grabs against the Mets, but he can’t handle the routine ones for them.  Ouch.  And, Jason Bay’s side still hurts.  The rest of baseball’s sides also hurt from laughing.

Well, when your bench players become regulars they become exposed (the old joke about the backup catcher crying when the starter went down comes to mind-“now they’ll find out I can’t play”).  Speaking of fly balls….

Seems the Rockies’ right fielder had no problem handling David Wright’s game one ending drive.  He wasn’t lost in the Bermuda Triangle, er, The Mo Zone, like several of the Mets have been.  In the third year of existence can anyone definitive tell me that the Mets have a decidedly home field advantage at Citi Field?

From not knowing where the fences are located to complaining about them being too far away from home plate, and Beltran wearing sunglasses at night (Cory Hart must be his idol-see the 1980’s my friends).  The park has only added to the team’s woes.

In fact, the team formally known as the “Blake Street Bombers,” made the park named for a Bank play like Citizen’s Bank Bandbox during the wretched four game sweep.  Balls were crashing into the seats with such force fans were taking cover under the Shea Bridge.

Speaking of homers.  The new manager might be fiery but his decision to pitch to the unconscious Troy Tulowitzki with a base open in the opener was plain dumb.  When one player is toasting you with regularity Plan B should be enacted.

Either walk him intentionally or dust him.  Tulo was dug in so deep in the series they needed an excavator to unearth him for his four-base cameo.  Can just one Mets pitcher do something to make him uncomfortable at the plate?

When a 160 pound second baseman takes you deep (for a three-run home in game two) it’s time to get on the charter, tails tucked.   I’d rather not hear Terry Collins extol the virtue of his team for hollowing transforming a 6-2 deficit into a one-run loss.  You know what close counts in: horseshoes and hand grenades, not major league baseball games.

Here is the recipe for disaster: Walks, extra outs, styling on the bases, lack of timely hitting (Jose Reyes and David Wright could not deliver in the pivotal ninth inning of game one) and blather that the team battled back (sounds like Jerry is still here).

Here’s a question to ponder: Are the Mets playing tight because their manager is?  Collins will blow this weekend-at the umpires-guaranteed.  He’s a powder-keg, which is why his players better start playing crisp baseball-for everyone’s sake.