Dear Diary,
Here I am in flight on my way back from Minnesota where I was a National League All-Star. I thought I would tell you about the experience while it was all still fresh in my memory.
I’d love to say that it was totally magical and unforgettable and stuff like that. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the first (last? only?) time I made an All Star team, but as you’ll see it wasn’t without some negatives.
I have come to learn that there is a difference between being one of those makes-the-team-every-year All Stars and guys like me and that Harrison guy from the Pittsburgh and that funky motion pitcher Pat Neshek – guys like us are at the bottom of the All Star barrel so to speak.
As soon as I got to the ballpark on Monday morning (that’s the day of the Home Run Derby, but not something I’d ever be a part of unless it was played at the Little League field in Williamsport) I immediately went in to say hello to the guy who’d be my manager, Mike Matheny of the St. Louis Red Birds.
He shook my hand and congratulated me for making the team – but I coulda sworn he snickered a bit while doing so. I asked him if he thought I’d get in the game and maybe get to play second base for a couple of innings. He said, “Oh God, I hope it doesn’t come to that. But…. We’ll see.”
That was a bit of a newspaper tap to the snout for me but I pressed on and went into the clubhouse to meet some of my teammates. The first familiar face I saw was that of Chase Utley of the Phillies who we play so much every year.
I walked up to him and shook his hand. He immediately said, “Murphy? What the hell are you doing here? Where’s Wright, got the flu bug or something?” I don’t know how serious he was but between this and my meeting with Matheny I’m feeling more like the assistant equipment manager than a full fledged All Star.
Utley laughed. I think he really knew that I’d been picked for the team and he was just going to have some fun at my expense.
As for the two days themselves, I doubt anyone is going to remember it as the Daniel Murphy All-Star game. Rather everything was about Derek Friggin Jeter
Now don’t get me wrong, I know Jeter has been one helluva player for a lot of years. Plus he plays for the one New York team that will make you world famous if you’re even just decent.
I have some friends who are into all that sabermetric stuff and they tell me that Jeter’s defensive numbers are lousy. They think he has very little range but he makes fancy looking jump throws and has most of Yankee Nation convinced that he’s the love child of Andrelton Simmons and Ozzie Smith.
Meanwhile I make jump throws too (or even that one between my legs) and the best compliment my defense gets is “he doesn’t suck quite as much as he used to”.
So everything the past couple of days was Derek this and Derek that. Come on, people, it’s not like we’re saying goodbye to Lou Gehrig. That poor dude was dying. Jeter’s got all the money in the world, is healthy, and starting next season can devote himself fulltime, instead of part-time, to dating supermodels. Excuse me for not being on the Jeter bandwagon but really folks….
Anyway. We ended up losing the All Star game. After the other team got three early runs we rallied back quickly for two. I was busy trying to get the guys in the dugout to wave towels or something just like we do on the Mets. They totally refused to do it and were calling it “bush league stuff” (they didn’t really use the word “stuff”). So I let it go. I still think that if we were waving towels we could have scored more runs.
Late in the game Matheny came over to me and said, “Oh, what the hell. You’re in there next inning. Try not to hurt anybody – especially if he’s a Cardinal.” Again, not exactly the most encouraging thing to hear but I was psyched.
I didn’t have any balls hit to me, but I tried to keep Freddie Freeman from falling into the first base stands on one foul pop. I also tried a desperation shovel of a ball that Freeman didn’t catch. But the shovel attempt went over everyone’s head. Embarrassing, but not something I’m not used to.
Then I had a chance to bat and that didn’t go too great either. There I am facing Fernando Rodney and his stupid cap. That guy wears his cap so it’s pointing at the on-deck circle while he’s looking at the catcher. That shouldn’t even be allowed! How’s a guy going to concentrate when the pitcher’s cap is so turned aside?
I struck out. But I learned my lesson. If I make it to another All Star Game (and yes I know that’s a really big IF) and that Rodney guy is on the other squad then I’m going to have the batting practice pitcher turn his cap to the side and will keep taking hacks until I can make some solid contact that way.
So now I get a couple of days off with the family. Then it’s off to San Diego for a weekend series. There’s been all sorts of rumors that Sandy might be trading me. I’ll try to ignore that stuff and just keep getting my hits. Because that’s what I do.
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MMO readers: I started writing occasional entries in the fictional diary of Daniel Murphy a few years ago in Randy Medina’s humor blog, THE APPLE. They were received quite well so that when I started writing pieces for the REAL DIRTY METS I did some there too. To bring you up to speed if you are interested here are links to the three most recent Murphy Diary articles.
Even though in his diary entries Daniel comes off more like Forrest Gump than anyone real I am actually a big fan of the player. He’s been on one of my Strat-O-Matic teams for a few years and I have great respect for what he has accomplished given his “skill set.” I was very pleased to see him make the NL All Star team but fear that the day is coming when he will be an ex-Met mostly because of monetary reasons.
