In Doug’s Dugout today we discuss a surefire way to fix the Mets going forward without one single player transaction.

Now that I’ve grabbed your attention, how in the world are the Mets going to improve without a blockbuster trade, jettisoning dead wood like Jason Bay, or eschewing the free-agent meat market?

Read on… The answer lies in the abysmal second half record.

Play every game next season away from Citi Field, now dubbed, “The Un-Friendly Confines.”

That’s right… Re-sod old Randall’s Stadium, once the home of the World Football League’s New York Stars if need be. Heck, rent out Yankee Stadium, just like the Bombers shared Shea Stadium in 1975 & 1976 when George Herman’s old house was being renovated (for $24 million, according to the first estimate).

Maybe see if Met Life Stadium in Jersey can be converted 81 times for baseball. Anywhere but that haunted house built on sacred ground with dirty money (Maybe it’s the Madoff Curse?).

The place has been the Mets personal house of horrors since it opened four years ago. From the over-the-top homage to Ebbet’s Field and the Brooklyn Dodgers, to the obnoxious Mo-Zone and Great Wall of Flushing. Even the attendants, clad in Washington Redskin maroon, seem out of place.

Not to mention pricing out the little guy, with for instance $15 per game parking. The place been more fruitful to the opposition than to the hometown team.

For Pete’s sake, the Nationals and Braves own us at our place. The putrid Rockies salivate on their approach to La Guardia Airport. Only the Mets cringe at it’s sight.

You want numbers? In the second half decent into hell, the team has had TWO 0-6 home stands, unprecedented in Mets lore. However, once they have hopped on a plane and unwound, they respond like a major league club, as opposed to coming unglued in the home whites.

After the first 0-6 debacle, they responded with a spirited 6-5 Western swing to Arizona, San Francisco (2-3), and San Diego.

Now after this second desecration at home, they win last night in Milwaukee and tallied two less runs than their entire last homestand combined ! This led me to the keyboard to try and make some sense out of this.

Why do they stink at home and hit on the road with such gusto?

Even Lucas Duda belted a home run last night. David Wright seems to wake-up, and we all know that Ike Davis hits home runs by the bushel away from Queen’s County.

Could there be something in the water at home? Sandy Alderson needs to gather his highly-paid braintrust and run the sabermetrics on this.

If the Mets sweep a hot Brewers club, that has climbed back into wild card contention with a run commencing on August 18th, then I will scratch my scalp until all my hair appears again!

Remember the Lloyd Bentson retort to Dan Quayle, comparing himself to John Kennedy at the Vice-Presidential debate in 1988?

“Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy!” he harpooned.

In Doug’s Dugout today we emphatically state:

“Citi Field, you’re no Shea Stadium!”