Doug’s Dugout: Revolving Doors, Sour Grapes and Whipping Posts

In Doug’s Dugout today we discuss: the broken bullpen, Sick Bay, and other feeble thoughts.

The best way to fix the Mets bullpen is to remove the door from it’s hinges. That will make it easier for the relievers to enter the field. And it would be more practical too! After all, it’s been like a stampede out there so far.

Better yet, install a revolving door, because by the end of the season, the exorbitant count may lead to the complete destruction of the structure. Moreover, it might be wise to also install a turn style to keep track of the number of different relievers that have jogged to the Citi Field mound from the home pen.

Instead of a counter it should contain an odometer. The Mets traveling secretary also might want to check on frequent flyer benefits for Bobby Parnell, among others. My guess is he’ll be on the Buffalo shuttle shortly and often.

Seriously, this is a motley crew, but what did you expect?

You get what Sandy (Alderson) pays for. He brought them all in except for Parnell and Frankie Rodriquez (and Iggy, but he’ll be shipped out before this hits the air waves- and Jason Isringhausen has a finite amount of bullets left its even money he breaks down very soon). Can a Boof Bonser sighting be far off?

It might help if Mike Pelfrey can pitch more than five innings. Except for Chris Young the starters have been equally retched.

The good news is the expectations were low. Good teams never fire on all cylinders at the same time. If they did, they’d be classified as great ones. Bad teams can’t score and walk the ballpark. The Mets seem to be competent offensively-for now.

However, if the bats go silent look out, this could get ugly.

Hopefully, the offense gets more potent when Jason Bay finally returns. Maybe the only hope is to bludgeon the other team, 9-8 or 8-7 nightly. Now we are informed that Bay won’t be in left field before the end of the month. Slowly he’s creeping up on more games missed than played.

When he does grace the fans’ with his presence here’s hoping he hits the ground running. For his sake. Everyone knows this fan base loves their whipping posts and Bay is a prime candidate.

All it will take is an 1-10 stretch with five or six K’s for him to get in the crosshairs (and lungs) of the bitter Mets fans. If past history tells us anything, Bay is capable of that type of start. Leaving Boston looks more like professional suicide for him each passing week.

Finally, listening to Yankees GM Brian Cashman grouse about the condition of Pedro Feliciano’s arm recently was absurd personified. No one put a revolver to his head to sign the rubber-armed lefty (to muliple year no less). It’s always buyer beware on the open market. But, to openly question why the reliever was overused (the reason he was not resigned) made Cashman sound like a horse’s backside.

What’s the big deal? The Yankees will simply put his contract through the same shredder used for pitcher’s Kei Igawa, Steve Karsay, and Carl Pavano, among too many to mention.

It’s just sad when you have to kick a guy when he’s down. We’ll get him back (in a decade or two).