In Doug’s Dugout today we discuss a surefire way to fix the Mets going forward without one single player transaction.

Now that I’ve grabbed your attention, how in the world are the Mets going to improve without a blockbuster trade, jettisoning dead wood like Jason Bay, or eschewing the free-agent meat market?

Read on… The answer lies in the abysmal second half record.

Play every game next season away from Citi Field, now dubbed, “The Un-Friendly Confines.”

That’s right… Re-sod old Randall’s Stadium, once the home of the World Football League’s New York Stars if need be. Heck, rent out Yankee Stadium, just like the Bombers shared Shea Stadium in 1975 & 1976 when George Herman’s old house was being renovated (for $24 million, according to the first estimate).

Maybe see if Met Life Stadium in Jersey can be converted 81 times for baseball. Anywhere but that haunted house built on sacred ground with dirty money (Maybe it’s the Madoff Curse?).

The place has been the Mets personal house of horrors since it opened four years ago. From the over-the-top homage to Ebbet’s Field and the Brooklyn Dodgers, to the obnoxious Mo-Zone and Great Wall of Flushing. Even the attendants, clad in Washington Redskin maroon, seem out of place.

Not to mention pricing out the little guy, with for instance $15 per game parking. The place been more fruitful to the opposition than to the hometown team.

For Pete’s sake, the Nationals and Braves own us at our place. The putrid Rockies salivate on their approach to La Guardia Airport. Only the Mets cringe at it’s sight.

You want numbers? In the second half decent into hell, the team has had TWO 0-6 home stands, unprecedented in Mets lore. However, once they have hopped on a plane and unwound, they respond like a major league club, as opposed to coming unglued in the home whites.

After the first 0-6 debacle, they responded with a spirited 6-5 Western swing to Arizona, San Francisco (2-3), and San Diego.

Now after this second desecration at home, they win last night in Milwaukee and tallied two less runs than their entire last homestand combined ! This led me to the keyboard to try and make some sense out of this.

Why do they stink at home and hit on the road with such gusto?

Even Lucas Duda belted a home run last night. David Wright seems to wake-up, and we all know that Ike Davis hits home runs by the bushel away from Queen’s County.

Could there be something in the water at home? Sandy Alderson needs to gather his highly-paid braintrust and run the sabermetrics on this.

If the Mets sweep a hot Brewers club, that has climbed back into wild card contention with a run commencing on August 18th, then I will scratch my scalp until all my hair appears again!

Remember the Lloyd Bentson retort to Dan Quayle, comparing himself to John Kennedy at the Vice-Presidential debate in 1988?

“Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy!” he harpooned.

In Doug’s Dugout today we emphatically state:

“Citi Field, you’re no Shea Stadium!”

Something is rotten in Denmark, my fellow furry Mets fans. Suddenly, since the second half bell rang, the Mets hierarchy (i.e. Sandy Alderson) has demoted multiple (young) Mets outfielders with the regularity of a Jason Bay strikeout. What in the heck is going on here?

Allow me to enlighten you: Remember when Alderson and manager Terry Collins proclaimed that salary would not be a factor when he came to divvying-up playing time for the outfielders? Or was I dreaming when that was declared?

Mets’ management’s stance was a noble one and right on the mark. However, they have un-pitched that tent solely with their actions. While sending down Lucas Duda and Kirk Nieuwenhuis has merits, (they have both struggled mightily-but is it their fault this team is overloaded with lefty hitters?) keeping the current left-fielder awash in at-bats is NOT.

How can you justify sending Bay out there day-after-pitiful day and it not be about the $18 million they are gifting him this season? Basically, we were fed some poppycock by Alderson and Collins. Who would you vote to see strike-out on a daily basis: Duda, Nieuwenhuis, or Bay? The answer is the latter, in a landslide.

He’s like that rusting Chevy Impala in the next door neighbors’ yard – A Darn Eyesore.

Moreover, if Bay had given an iota of cover for the young left-handed hitting gunners, maybe they wouldn’t have succumbed to the daily pressures, and not be shot to pieces like an opposing soldier in Call of Duty.

After all, every team in creation has bombarded the Mets with lefty starters (and relievers) and that was supposed to be Bay’s bailiwick, no?

Start a lefty against us and Bay, who once had hit lefties like nobody’s business (sometime after the invention of the telephone, it seems) and you’d see the board light up like a pinball machine.

That was the theory. But Bay has failed miserably for over 2 1/2 years in Blue and Orange. Now we are told it’s coming to a head with the return of Mike Baxter (oh, another lefty!). That Bay’s time as a starter is running out. Maybe.

Here is what Collins said yesterday about Bay:

“You continue to watch him take batting practice and he continues to show you the power is still there,” Collins said. “Now it’s just a matter of making sure mechanically he gets his feet on the ground and he gets his hands in the correct position to attack the baseball.”

Terry, perhaps in year 4 of his downtrodden disastrous Mets tenure he will get his feet on the ground (and I’ve got some beautiful swampland for sale in New Jersey). As Allen Iverson, the 76ers shooting guard once uttered, “Practice? You talking ’bout Practice?”

Bay, 34 in September is shot.

Furthermore, so are the nerves of Mets fans. The numbers don’t lie. Mired in an 0-22 slump going into last night’s game, he was fast approaching the 0-24 career high (or low) mark he established last season.

Who says he hasn’t improved in his Mets career? I must continue because these numbers are astounding.

Bay’s third longest O-fer streak also came last year when he was 0-20. Since he returned from the DL (I’ve lost count) he is 4-35, a .114 batting average. He is the only major league player with 110 or more plate appearances hitting below .160 and less than 10 RBI’s.

Finally, I have saved the best for last: This season he is hitting .159, .238 OB %, .310 slugging (.489 career), with EIGHT RBI, and 5 HR (all but one solo). And the Mets have the audacity to say money is not an issue in reference to playing time?

I guess inflation accounts for the depreciation of $18 million. Please, don’t tell me that’s it raining while you are peeing down my back.

If I was Duda, and now Nieuwenhuis I’d be more than perturbed. I’d be livid that Bay is still taking up precious cargo space in a lifeboat lost at sea.

Thoughts from Joe D.

I’ve said this a few times already. There is no doubt in my mind that the only thing keeping Jason Bay in the lineup is his salary. If this was Scott Hairston he would have been released in a New York minute. Lucas Duda and Kirk Nieuwenhuis, who were both outperforming Bay have already been ousted.

That malarkey Sandy Alderson and Terry Collins fed us about fielding the team that gives us the best chance to win was just more lip service to separate themselves from Omar Minaya and Jerry Manuel. Telling fans what they want to hear is always a good play.

Unfortunately, in two years with Alderson at the helm we’ve seen two things that dictates who gets the most playing time on this team: money and whether they were organizational acquisitions.

D.J. Carrasco was finally released long after he wore out his welcome. Ronny Paulino was an obvious fail from day one, but remained the Mets backup catcher until the bitter end. Even last week they were still trying to force Pedro Beato into a bullpen role without much success.

We have a right hander on the mound in the next two games, and there’s a good chance Bay will get the starts. Why wouldn’t he? That’s been the case all season long on the rare days that Bay hasn’t been in the infirmary.

I’m still convinced that it’s no coincidence that the Mets had a reversal of fortune as soon as Bay was activated from the DL and force fed into a lineup that had been scoring timely runs and winning ball games. It’s if as though a malaise set in since that day and the team forgot to have fun. The hitters are all getting into bad habits again including David Wright as they all try to compensate for the lack of production from middle-of-the-order-hitter Jason Bay. He has had a debilitating effect on the team chemistry.

“Oh Johnny… Please Tell Me They Cut Jason Bay Today.”

In Doug’s Dugout today we holler, “ROAD TRIP,” debate buyer vs. seller, and utter other meanderings:

When John Belushi, aka “Bluto,” in Animal House announced to his brethren at the Delta Tau Chi Fraternity at fictional Faber College, “Road trip,” it was to escape, for a short while, the specter of triple-double or double-triple, secret probation.

It really didn’t help the lads much with the subterranean culm of 0.0. But it sure was a blast.

Perhaps David Wright did the same when the media exited after the recent abysmal 0-6 home stand. He did utter, “I just want to get out of here,” to the assemblage. As the buses rolled out of Citi Field, en route to the airport and flight to Phoenix, a handful of fans were spotted pushing it along to facilitate the exit (not really, but what Met fan didn’t want this wretched group that has only two wins since the all-star break, out of Dodge, a sap?).

Point is, the perfect panacea for a homely home stand is to pack your bags and regroup under the shade of a different tree. It didn’t hurt the Mets that Matt Harvey came aboard. That extra start for Buffalo – the one in which he was shelled, must’ve been the difference – it’s not rocket science boys, the man can throw 95 mph and not kill any idle mascots.

I haven’t seen such a smashing debut since Dave Schneck hit a three-run homer at cavernous Jack Murphy Stadium in San Diego in July of 1972! Seriously, Harvey’s 11 K’s in 5 1/3 innings, 3 hits and 0 runs, was very impressive (and two knocks-he leads Jason Bay already!). Maybe it breathed a saving breath into a floundering team.

Seems to me, in recent years, Chase Field (or The BOB) has been the anti-Turner Field. The Mets get well there, and the win halted a six-game slide, but the question is, can they sustain it?

Mets fans don’t enjoy getting hit over the head without retribution. If you are going to beat me at least untie my hands. With Sandy Alderson at the helm, it seems like he waits until the bludgeoning is over to react. However, if it’s true-and the laws of supply and demand capitulate here, that the asking price for a mediocre relief pitcher was one of our minor-league prizes, then he should be commended for not making a panic move.

However, sometimes that’s a smoke screen for not making a move, “They wanted too much,” etc. Fact is, the Mets bullpen has cost them a boatload of games this year. The bullpen that Alderson poured all his resources into, and it’s has failed miserably. He waited way too long to shore it up. It’s been leaking since May.

Sometimes you have to make a pre-emptive move, not allow the market to set itself. The Mets went from 6-games over .500 and in contention, to a sub-.500 team in an eye blink, or faster than Bay’s skills erode.

But be patient fans (we have) the right-handed power solution in our midst, and when he starts hitting….

Speaking of movies, in “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They,” about the contestants in a marathon dance contest longing to be put out of their misery, Bay could play the lead. If I see him take another strike-one fastball down Broadway, ground out to short, or mutter returning to the bench, I’m going to request to be put out of MY misery (and Joe D. can have the honors!).

It was far less painful watching a 42-year old Willie Mays fall down in centerfield in the 1973 World Series, than watching Bay’s feeble at-bats. He is cannibalizing the AB’s of future outfielders, not to mention the demoralizing damage he does to Mets’ fans psyche. ENOUGH!

If I was Alderson, I would make a phone call to Doug Melvin in Brewer land and see what the price to acquire Zach Greinke is. Or see if you can pry away Justin Upton from the D-Backs. If you do make a move, make it for the long-term and right reasons. A band aid won’t do. But a young pitching star to add to Harvey, Niese, and Zach Wheeler would be a building block move.

Moreover, the Mets haven’t had a young outfielder with Upton’s athleticism since Darryl Strawberry. Give them J. Familia, or J. Mejia, or Matt Van Decker. Maybe they will bite.

That would amp up the fan base and result in some juice for the upcoming Dog Days.

“He Ran Out In The Middle Of The Road Screaming Something About Bay And Then He Collapsed. Is There Anything You Could Do, Doc?”

As the Mets embark on the second half sprint towards the post-season (who would’ve predicted that?) the benchmark is Ten. That is, ten games above .500. If the team can improve their 6 games above .500 mark, and make another strong a push upward, they could zero in on 90-plus victories.

That will put them in the Wild Card hunt, if not the division. Who would’ve thunk it?

81 wins seemed like pie in the sky in March, but now it would be a letdown. The Mets could conceivably have their cake and eat it too-meaningful games in September with sweet payoff.

Heck, that is more than the Phillies might be able to say. However, expect a run or two from a talented, albeit battered collections of All-Stars. Finally, they are getting their forces (Howard & Halliday) back on the battlefield, but the war could be over already.

Nevertheless, with Philadelphia in quicksand, the Nats adamant about shutting down Stephen Strasburg after 160 innings pitched, the Braves always unpredictable, and the Marlins underachieving, the Mets could sneak into the post-season.

What has to happen? They need someone to fill Dillon Gee’s shoes. And while Miguel Batista is a candidate for Gee’s next start, he’s not a viable long-term option. With their reluctance to part with prospects, and the Buffalo Shuttle a thriving enterprise. it could be Matt Harvey time.

What else? They need R.A. Dickey to forget all the hoopla surrounding his extraordinary first half success, and keep grinding out unhittable knuckleballs and wins. They need another right handed bat.

They need continued contributions of all of Terry Collins’ minions. They need another reliable reliever and can find him on Houston Street. Make that Huston Street.

However, if I hear the name Jason Bay, as a batman candidate, I will weep in my Wheaties. The man’s reflexes are shot. He can’t hit the fastball and he can’t judge a line drive (granted he plays all out, but he is not getting a jump on the ball, and the end result is multiple concussions).

You can’t blame Sandy Alderson that he’s (still) hoping and praying that the 22nd highest paid player in MLB produces something in exchange for hardcore cash. Bay is as cooked as that Thanksgiving bird that sits on the dining room table every fourth Thursday in November.

Ike Davis can’t slip back into the abyss. Kirk Nieuwhenhuis has to stop his slide into the abyss. And, the team needs Daniel Murphy’s bat. Although, there has been plenty of clamoring for Mr. Valdespin.

David Wright must be rock, and lead his team to the promised land. There could be a MVP Trophy waiting at the end of the rainbow.

Furthermore, the Mets must continue that never say die attitude that is accentuated by leading both leagues in 2-outs runs scored. Collins will make sure no one gets complacent.

One word about LaRussa: Killjoy! C’mon (as Warner Wolf says) give us a break. He has the best story-Dickey’s climb to stardom at 38, at his disposal and blows it, like a clueless editor who allows the lead to get buried on a front page story.

Listen, the buzz about Dickey was palpable. The fans and even the opposition wanted him in the leadoff spot.

Leave it to LaRussa, the man who (believes he) invented the sport to screw up an exhibition game (that’s what it is-and always will be, regardless of the moronic edict by Bud Selig, the man who always watches out for the fans’ best interests, to award home field advantage to the winner).

How about the team with the best record in baseball gaining the home field because they earned it. Too radical? But, I digress.

To compound matters he neglects to install Wright into the DH slot. Guess he felt that the Giants’ fans were correct in stuffing the ballot box like the aforementioned Turkey Day bird. Maybe he’s a huge Carlos Gonzalez fan.

LaRussa is a snook. Even in retirement he’s an overbearing, megalomaniac, who should be feeding pigeons in the park somewhere.

Finally, shame on you Reggie Jackson!

Cue the Fife ‘n Drum Corpse, er Corps. Sound the theme to M*A*S*H*, the movie or television series. Either one will do.

The Mets are on their way to setting a team record for the number of players to man the shortstop position in one calendar week. Only the Gabor sisters had more ex-husbands.

Maybe they can sign Hawkeye Pierce, Trapper John, or Hot Lips to fill in for Reuben Tejada, Ronny Cedeno, and Justin Turner. Maybe Buddy Harrelson would be willing to commute again from Long Island to Queens.

Calling all Frank Taveras’, Rey Ordonez’s, and Tim Foli’s to report to the Citi Field exit off the Grand Central. Holy Kevin Elster or Kevin Mitchell, Batman (HoJo is well-rested and tanned down in Florida)

The Mets continue to hang in there despite a bevy of regulars soaking in the hot tub. As per usual, Jason Bay is the slowest healer in baseball history. Tejada is Missing in Action, and Josh Thole is Excedrin Headache #1.

With all the advances in modern medicine why does it take twice as long for players’ to heal than it did say 20, 30, 40 years ago? Just follow the guaranteed contracts, my friends. Nevertheless, to error on the side of caution when it comes to head injuries, is okay by me.

However, even Keith Hernandez, not exactly a fossil, extolled on the inordinate amount of time it takes for today’s player to vacate the DL. I guess he forgot how many games he lost due to tight hammy’s. But, he did have a point.

Nobody knows what the heck happened to Cedeno. One minute he’s leading off first, the next gingerly strolling back into the dugout. “Understudy, Please!”

All in unison Mets fans: How it would be nice to go to war with a full platoon! I thought we traded Carlos Beltran (who is tearing it up) and passed the salt on Jose’ Reyes for just that reason, but the hits (to the body) keep on coming.

Speaking of injuries (and being skittish about them), if Sandy Alderson was so gun-shy about shelling out $10 mill for Chris Capuano, because of previous arm woes-that he proved were in the past last season, how do you think he’ll react to seeing the fit lefty starting for the National League in the All-Star game?

Badly, I hope.

With Mike Pelfrey gone, Cap would’ve slid right into the number two slot. Well, the good news is Ike Davis is physically healthy so far, but mentally fouled up. Send him to Niagara Falls already.

At least we found some suitable replacements, such as Mike Baxter (the new Danny Heep) and Vinny Rottino, recently. I suspect, like Jeremy Lin, their novelty acts will wear old soon enough. (I would mention the young centerfielder more often, but my typing fingers are just not developed enough to bang out his name.)

Injuries are part of the game and no team is immune. (Spend 5 minutes. or 60, reading the burgeoning names on the DL). Heck, the commish had to approve a new 7-game list because so many players are getting hurt.

Have no fear, Terry Collins just received a new shipment of duct tape, bailing wire, and Krazy Glue for the next spate of games, er injuries.

Bullpens are going to be fickle, it hurts-but get over it.  That’s the beauty of the game.  A new beginning beckons today.  

The positive news is the Mets are competing with their NL East brethren, and although a .500 record looms over the long haul, anytime you sweep the Phillies and annoy the Fish, it’s been a very successful season so far regardless of what the prognosticators warned.  

Finally, if David Wright isn’t playing himself into a long-term deal with the Mets, then management doesn’t have a clue about his worth, or give a damn about the fan base.

In Doug’s Dugout today, we talk about unsung heroes, dropping like flies, and other moronic thoughts:

My primary thrust today was focusing on replacing Mike Pelfey’s innings (the Chris Schwinden experiment failed), but then Mike Nickeas and Jordany Valdespin had the audacity to interrupt me with last night’s heroics against the Phillies.

How dare they!

Sometimes it is the unsung players, who reside in the shadows that emerge to provide scintillating moments for a ballclub. Last night it was Nickeas, that stroked a big double while replacing the woozy Josh Thole (more on that later) to keep a drive alive, and Valdespin golfing a Jonathan Papelbon pitch for a three-run home run and 5-2 victory.

Nice!

(Is it my imagination, but have I seen this movie before against the purse-lipped Pappy, starring Omir Santos? Yes, back in 2009 at Fenway Park.)

David Wright had tied the tilt at two apiece, doubling over the third base bag against Doc Halladay. The best right-hander in baseball was en route to a three-hitter before the Mets clawed back.

Maybe it was the free pass to Andres Torres or Ike Davis’ liner off his hip that unhinged him. Probably not. He’s a horse, but give the Mets credit for not leaving early to beat traffic.

Valdespin, who should lose the necklace (rookies!) – got his first hit and what a doozy. Conjures up thoughts of Benny Agbanyi. Guess when you wear number one you are not a shrinking violet.

Nickeas, who delieverd a big two-out two-RBI hit pinch hit over the weekend against Arizona, stepped up again and is showing he’s vastly improved. He’s one of the players’ to root for. He stays ready, is a hard worker that possesses a positive attitude, and realizes it’s a privilege to be in the major leagues.

Now, getting back to replacing Big Pelf. Basically, five starters must put a massive dent in a minimum 1,458 innings per year. Pelf has averaged 195 innings the past four. That is a gapping hole to fill.

Moreover, if the Mets had gone the extra mile, and made a reasonable offer to Chris Capuano (Dodgers 2 years, $10 million) they wouldn’t be in this pickle.

What team doesn’t stash a sixth starter somewhere?

The Mets did in 2011 with Dillon Gee when Johan Santana was infirmed… And that paid off handsomely with 13 wins from left field. Sandy Alderson left himself wafer-thin this year on the starting pitching front but that’s not a news flash. Oh, and he better watch out or he might pitch himself out of New York with a few more sterling starts.

Unless he feels Miguel Batista, or a chorus line of broken winged hurlers (see Chris Young) are going to fill the void. He’s emphatically stated the young bucks at Buffalo (Matt Harvey, et al) will not be on a shuttle anytime soon. Fair enough.

Then, let Alderson bob-and-weave until early summer and then rent a fifth starter. If the Mets are within sniffing distance of a wildcard he owes it to Mets fans to snatch the checkbook from the clutches of the Wilpon’s hands.

Otherwise, every fifth day will resemble a spring training game. Terry Collins and Dan Warthen might drop from the plethora of trips to the mound, and the denizens of the bullpen fitted for a sling before the all-star break.

Speaking of injuries, the Mets continue to drop like flies (or like Knicks’ point guards). Two starters in two days (First Reuben Tejada and then Thole had his bell rung by Ty Wigginton). At that rate forget promoting the entire Bison’s roster, the B-Mets might commandeer a Greyhound and head to Flushing.

It’s just bad luck.

Speaking of bad luck, a thread would not be complete without a Jason Bay musing. Do you know what the Mets could really use? A right-handed slugger who can support Wright. The Mets third baseman is seeing too few fastballs with Davis hitting .165 and Bay in witness protection (again).

Now in his third year in a Mets uniform, he can take his sweet time coming back. I’d rather see a bevy of lefties vs. lefties battling during at-bats, than one more Bay feeble plate appearance (who knew he was this brittle-wrap that rib and lets go, you are making $16 million a year!).

However, if it was Alderson’s design to have at least four lefties (Davis, Lucas Duda, Thole, and Daniel Murphy) in the lineup at a time, it has swelled to five with the emergence of Kirk Nieuwenhuis. Now with Valdespin playing shortstop they could have an astonishing Six lefties in the lineup at once.

Poor Collins. He’s managing with one arm tied behind his back. He’ll just soldier on like always.

Finally, they say injuries on a baseball club are sometimes contagious. It’s true. Last night I hurt my elbow lifting my drink to my lips.

In Doug’s Dugout today, we discuss comebacks, a Hot Reuben Sandwich, and other insipid thoughts:

I will give the Mets kudos for not folding like a child’s tent in a wind storm, after Todd Helton (another Met killer) pinch-hit a grand slam off of Tim Byrdak in yesterday’s 8th inning. Byrdak has been perfect, but never, ever, never, throw one down and in to a lefty.

Helton crushed it, and almost the Mets in the process. All in all, a nice weekend in the city with the greatest natural backdrop in the majors. Factor in the Mets taking the series, after that brutal 11-run inning on Saturday, and Terry Collins’ troops continue to play with verve and nerve (sorry Clyde!).

It doesn’t hurt the offense that every time you look up Ruben Tejada is on base. Ten hits in a series establishes a Mets watermark, and have we already forgotten (Reyes) that this kid is only 21?

He is not part of the problem, but the solution. For now. There are more ups and downs to come, for sure. Like the old wooden roller-coaster at Palisades Park (who remembers that?).

The bottom line is this team is improved from last season, according to the record. Having Johan Santana back on the beam (what a shame he didn’t record his first win since 2010) is key. The loss of Mike Pelfrey really hurts. Now Dan Warthen has to replace the innings. Maybe they can re-acquire Livan Hernandez (not!).

The offense has started to percolate with zero contributions from the number two right-handed hitter (Jason Bay, what else is new), the starting center-fielder (his replacement is much better anyhoo), and nada from Ike Davis.

Until yesterday! He had three hits, including the gamer. He is not getting Ike-type swings on the ball yet, but as he says, “at least I’m making contact.” Just goes to show you how messed up a hitter’s head gets when he’s ice cold.

Okay, Lucas Duda is coming around, Kirk Niewenhuis’ star is beginning to shine (what a grab yesterday, and 3 knocks), and even Josh Thole contributed a long ball.

The bullpen is going to be another thrill ride this season, but that is par for the course. Relief pitching is a fickle part of the Mets in recent years.

As April recedes into May (one rainout might be a record) the Mets and the flowers are starting to bloom. David Wright and Tejada have carried this club. Daniel Murphy is a .300 hitter and better defensively than Dan Uggla, and Duda has had his moments. The Mets could be the Little Blue Engine That Could, as the season progresses.

(And picking up the rear is the horse know as J-Bay. But what a nice nag he is!)

Finally, I have completed my mock draft, if anyone is interested. I have been watching baseball for over 40 years, and I experience a “first” every year. This year it was the four walks by four different Giants’ relievers. Crazy.

On to Houston where the Mets are actually favored. They could make some hay against a bad ballclub.

In Doug’s Dugout today, we discuss: Beating the Braves, the Mets’ new Mantra, and other random thoughts.

Anytime the Mets sweep the Braves, regardless of expectations, it’s a great feeling.  Because no team in the Eastern Division has inflicted more hurt on the Amazins.  If only they had stayed in the Western Division, like it was the first year of divisional play in 1969 (when the Mets outslugged Henry Aaron’s crew to cop their first NL pennant).

Nevertheless, since Atlanta’s last-to-first resurgence in 1991, they have consistently spanked the Mets and obliterated them in Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium and Turner Field.  So, this three-game sweep to commence the 2012 campaign is sweet.  Factor in the doom and gloom predictions, and another layer of chocolate cake should be added.

First of all, the pitching was solid.  Johan Santana, once the Ace of the staff could re-claim his lofty standing.  He can be counted on five innings a start for April, at least, then by the time summer begins, he could be his 7-8 inning former self.

R.A. Dickey seems relaxed and very comfortable in his skin.  His knuckleball has plenty of tread left on it.  Who knows, he could be baffling hitters for the Mets as long as Tim Wakefield did for the Red Sox (he pitched until he was 49).

Moreover, Jon Niese pitched like someone worthy of a $25 million commitment.  He flirted with the franchise’s first no-hitter, with six frames of nada for the Bravos.  He did tire a tad, and wasn’t aided by Lucas Duda’s butchery of a routine fly ball.

Speaking of Duda, he’s a fast learner and will take the next launch to his quadrant off to the side, to minimize the blinding glare.  Taking a ball head on is just inexperience having his way with the quiet blossoming star.

Anyway, if he provides the heat seeking missiles-like he twice detonated on Saturday, a few miscues in the outfield will be tolerated.  Duda’s fast start even (might’ve) inspired Jason Bay to get off the RBI schneid.  Bay, also recorded two singles, or as many as Dickey and Niese combined.  

There simply are no more excuses left in the (wishing) well for Bay.  He hits or he must sit.  Then again, with the Mets wafer thin bench, the fans might be subjected to another year of his perplexing fall from grace.

This is where Sandy Alderson has to step up.  And throw the starving fans a bone.  It doesn’t have to be a meaty one, just something to gnaw on.  How costly can it be to add someone to spot start in the outfield and bolster the bench?

Well, if David Wright hits .667 the rest of the way, Bay’s production will be a moot point.  Combined with Duda’s power, and rumor has it, that Ike Davis arrives from Port St. Lucie any day now!

Thankfully, the much-maligned bullpen from spring training was left down in St. Lucie County, and the Mets banged out 31 hits in the three game sweep. One thing is certain: Daniel Murphy can mash (and Reuben Tejada has a bright future).

If the Mets’ mantra was “Ya Gotta Believe,” in 1973, then 39 years later it should be, “One Game at a Time.”

Finally, if the Mets don’t sell out next Wednesday afternoon, a projected Santana-Stephen Strasburg match-up, and rollback $2.50 tickets, then the chance of a full house this season might have come and gone.  That is unless they continue to play the Braves.

To a diehard baseball fan Opening Day is Thanksgiving, Christmas, and your birthday all rolled into one glorious day. What two other words, except “Lottery Winner,” could evoke such passion?

Even if you are a Mets fan, hammered all winter and spring with negative news, this is one day-one game to give it a rest. Now, it doesn’t hurt that the Mets are the titans of Opening Day. Posting a MLB best winning percentage (.647, 33-18 after yesterday’s 1-1 win) and ahead of the second place Yankees (.586, but the Bombers have participated in a ton more.)

According to Wikipedia, from 1968-1983, the Mets won 16 openers. Thank you Tom Terrfic! Seaver started 11 times for the Mets and posted a perfect 6-0 mark. If you were a young fan during that time, Opening Day was a slam dunk victory.

And, wasn’t it always a convenient coincidence that there was always a half-day of school on Opening Day? As a high school junior, I remember biding my time in the morning before bolting and catching the 7-train to be at Shea by the time the luminaries and debris had been cleared from the field.

Recently, I poured over the box score of the 1975 opener that I attended (the Mets had acquired Joe Torre from the Cardinals and Dave Kingman from the Giants, among others, to create a palpable buzz) on Baseball Reference.com.

Off the top of my head, I could tell you, Torre stroked a 9th inning base hit to score Felix “The Cat” Millan for the 2-1 victory. I didn’t recall that Seaver faced Steve Carlton of the Phillies, a Hall of Fame match-up.

Each hurled complete games, with Seaver scattering 6-hits, and Lefty only 4 (but one long homerun to Kong). Moreover, they pitched like they were double-parked-in an economical 2:02-and home from school right on time.

Imagine, the announced attendance was only 18,527? No wonder I purchased a mezzanine box seat without incident, minutes before the first pitch. With nary two nickels to rub together in those salad days, the ducket couldn’t have exceeded a sawbuck ($10) back then.

As I read the box score, I noticed that under “weather conditions,” it read, “unknown.” My fellow faithful fans, I can report it was sunny and mild, in the high 50′s at game time (thank you Dr. Frank Field).

Conversely, Opening Day 1970, which I had to witness the raising of the World Championship banner, a frigid low 40′s with a biting wind. When the Pirates tied the score with a ninth-inning rally, a collective groan could be heard through the stone-cold grandstands.

Just a few of many memories, and of course Johan Santana only added to the list yesterday. His return was a welcome sight.

For all the talk of gloom and doom this club could use a few breaks. I intend to not miss many Ike Davis or Lucas Duda at-bats this year. And, root for the kid, Reuben Tejada to develop into a serviceable major leaguer. And, root against the Marlins!

With Jon Niese in the fold for the next bunch of years, hope he brings the consistency the high numbers registered on his new pay stub affords.

Most importantly, give Jason Bay some rope and hope he doesn’t hang himself (figuratively folks). The man could use some sunshine to break through darkened skies. I mean ZERO RBI’s in 45 spring at-bats is putrid. 15 strikeouts. Oy!

If he doesn’t hit the ground running he might have to keep on trucking (make it look like you’re leading a parade, not being run out of town, Jason). Bay’s bat is still vital.

If he bats fifth and produces, that separates the lefties (Davis, clean-up and Duda, 6th) nicely in the order. Add David Wright and the pesky Andres Torres, and just maybe the offense flourishes. If it sputters, Bay might want to borrow Bobby Bonilla’s ear plugs.

Hope that Frank Francisco isn’t the second coming of Armando Benitez (or Mel Rojas) and Jon Rauch is better suited as a power forward for the Knicks.

All the cacophony of questions died down to a dull roar yesterday, the roar of devoted Mets fans welcoming their team back home prevailed – as it should.

In Doug’s Dugout today, it’s “deja vu all over again,” with the news that David Wright will miss this week due to a nagging rib injury (but last week he had a great day in the weight room-cue the applause). It’s only March, but what Mets’ fan is not a tad alarmed?

This is (already) getting monotonous with injury news rushing in each day. How many times has “day to day”" morphed into the disabled list in recent years? Terry Collins says, “we’re all banged up.” In March?From Carlos Beltran to Jose’ Reyes, to Ike Davis (and now Tim Brydak) the names change but the lousy luck remains the same. Maybe the next time a player develops a blister or hang nail the clubhouse should be quarantined.

Year after year this franchise is plagued by nagging injuries that not only saps man power but the patience of it’s faithful. Since it’s only spring training this is no time to jump off the Shea bridge. Please get mildly annoyed.

However, if Wright’s re-appearance becomes cloudier by the day who can blame Mets fans for donning gas masks and heading into the bunker? Same holds true if Johan Santana experiences a set-back that costs him upwardly mobile movement.

Several things have to happen this season for the Mets not to fall into the abyss and lose 90 games. First of all, it’s all hands on deck, and Wright has to lead (operative word) the way and play in 150 games. And produce healthy numbers: 30-100 is a good place to start and .300 average would be a bonus.

Nevertheless, he’s off to a slow start this spring. Maybe the cortisone injection he received yesterday will speed his return. Unlikely because the drug only provides temporary relief and masks the pain. It’s not a magic potion that eliminates the injury.

Should Wright’s commitment or toughness-he played with a broken back for a time last season be questioned? No, but this rib injury is starting to be felt by more than just him.

Speaking of injuries, in yesterday’s edition of his NY Post blog, Dan Martin wrote the following about Byrdak:

Wright will be joined in New York by lefty reliever Tim Byrdak, who has been bothered by a sore left knee. The Mets don’t expect Byrdak’s absence to be lengthy, but they are thin virtually all over the roster and that includes lefty relievers.

After that stellar reporting (or poor information regurgitated by the medical or PR staff) it was updated yesterday that Byrdak would need arthroscopic knee surgery to repair a torn meniscus and miss six weeks. From the team not expecting him not be miss much time to SIX WEEKS, in a single bound!

Holy Kervorkian.

Conversely, Santana has looked like his diligent rehab is paying off. Then again, 5 2/3 innings is just a small sampling. What the Mets really need is for him to regain his status as the “King of Queens.” If the Mets are not in the black when he is on the hill, well, you do the math.Moreover, Jason Bay has to get his mojo back.

If Bay hits he will help the team two-fold: One, he will drive in needed runs and two, squash the “where has Bay’s stroke gone,” the ad nauseam pieces published daily. Enough of his travails.

He needs to go up there hacking and hope for the best (does he have a hit this spring?). Stop being over analytical about every at-bat and let your instincts take command. With the fences moved in at Citi Field this season there are no more built in excuses.

It’s time for the Big Three to start producing numbers commensurate to their pay stubs. Are those realistic or unreasonable expectations? It says here reasonable. After all, the trio is poised to earn approximately $54 million (more than half of total payroll) combined this season.

If the Mets are striving to be a lean and mean organization then it’s imperative that the ones earning the lion’s share give the organization (and fans) their moneys worth.

(It’s a sad indictment about the game when money constantly seeps into the conversation. But that’s the reality today, along with $20 parking).

Basically, it’s put up or shut-up time for Santana, Bay, and Wright. Otherwise, the diagnosis is negative. From “Byrd” flu to Valley Fever. Soon the sterling medical corpse, er, corps, will qualify for combat pay. It’s easy to scapegoat the trainers, but with their record who doesn’t feel a bit skittish?

All I know, and that is little, is I would love to see Collins have a complete roster at his disposal-for once. Loyal Mets fans deserve that and more.

The prevailing emotion I fee is sadness. I’m sure in the coming days it will be boiling anger. However, losing Reyes-that seemed inevitable, is still shocking. As long as there was a glimmer of hope.

He leaves after nine years of thrills that commenced as a young colt of 19. Conversely, he will spend his prime years as the enemy. That alone is enough to churn the innards into a knotted mess.

The fact that he was beloved stings like lemon juice squirted on an open wound. Poof, he’s gone.

Furthermore, I will leave the finger-pointing at Sandy Alderson, the Wilpons, or even M. Donald Grant, and deconstruction of another management debacle for another time. I just want to pay my respects to talent lost (a recurring theme since Sandy-bagged arrived).

Friends, our most exciting player has left the building. (But think about the savings in reduced parking, beer, and programs at Shea, er, Citi). To the Marlins, for god’s sake. That means the possibilities of torture are endless. Do the math:19 games a year, four at-bats, for the next 6 (7) years.

Maybe Reyes’ balky hamstrings do continue to deteriorate. Maybe he plays 130 games or less next year for Miami. Or, maybe he steps into the box approximately 500 times for the next six seasons against his former club and makes them pay-one way or another. Only time will tell.

For now, the clock stops on all the speculation: will he stay or will he go? Reyes is officially history (now move in the fences to band box proportions!).

Speaking of history, the Mets are doomed because they continue to repeat it. First Tom Seaver, who Grant would not pay commensurate to Nolan Ryan, was dealt. Then after the 1990 season the Mets watched Darryl Strawberry go home to the Dodgers. Yesterday, the team made it a hat trick by losing their third homegrown superstar.

Serves him right for winning the NL batting title!

I hearken back to the story recounted by Ralph Kiner about Branch Rickey. When Kiner won the home run crown for the Pirates, and requested a modest raise, the tight-fisted GM responded: “We finished in last place with you, and we can finish in last place without you.”

It’s quite evident in what direction the Mets are headed. South. What a shame for the many Mets’ fans who marveled at Jose’s array of skills and the unbridled enthusiasm he brought to a franchise that has experienced more grief than glory.

My friends it’s confusing being a Mets fan theses days. On one hand I can understand that GM Sandy Alderson is trying to rebuild the farm system while simultaneously stock a competitive team that the fans can root for.

Moreover, not commit the lions’ share of the payroll to a small handful of players. And, I can understand that the Wilpons’ are tired of being burned by long-term contracts that flame out (latest case in point, Johan Santana-anyone confident out there he will return to Cy Young form in coming years? Meanwhile, the contract has hamstrung Alderson).

To rattle off other failed free-agent signings: How about the player the Mets are still cutting checks for, and years to come-Mr. Personality, Bobby Bonilla. Or the bath the Wilpon’s took on Mo Vaughn (a salary dump trade), Kevin Appier, Pedro Martinez (yes, he did win 15 in year one, but combined 17 the remainding three), and currently Jason Bay, to name a few.

Shall I even mention Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo? Sorry, if I left anyone out.

Nevertheless, that is the risk of delving into the free agent fracas. It’s a high stakes gamble and sometimes hinges on the fragile fulcrum of the pitching elbow.

That said, as Mickey Mantle used to whine, in those infamous 1960′s ads, “I want my Maypo!”

Yes, I am conflicted because I want my darn Maypo. I can’t survive much longer on the bread and water diet Alderson “feeds” me. How can we get aroused about a team that considers $4 million per year for a closer, in this day and age, too cost prohibitive (see Jonathon Broxton, who signed with small market Kansas City-thanks Frenchy)?

If Alderson had his druthers, every player would be inked year-to-year. Not a bad idea, and the personification of pay for performance (Bay would be earning the league minimum). Unfortunately, the owners’ are not as shrewd as the powerful players’ union.

Then again when Sandy does dole out multi-year deals he produces a rock, such as D.J. Carrasco. Not much conversation about him being part of rebuilding the bullpen these days, huh? It is quite evident that when Matt Capps slashes his sticker price to around $3 million for one season he will be wearing the new/old Mets throwback uniform.

There in lies the problem: Who is sashaying to the frig to pop open that bottle of champs, chilling since 1987, to toast Capps coming to New York? I wouldn’t even pour a chocolate milk when that comes to fruition.

So, we sit and wait, and hope next week’s winter meeting brings home a golden goose via an old fashioned trade. Please, don’t hold your breath. Expect the turkey carcass your relatives recently picked clean.

The Mets make a significant trade as often as Tim Tebow completes a pass. But, keep keep praying. The hot stove may as well take place at your local bank branch. Or on a Monopoly Board.

First of all, the roster has no surpluses, or overlaps (unless the team signs Prince Fielder and markets Ike “the Ankle” Davis-as unlikely as Chris Paul playing for the Knicks this year). There are no blue chips down on the farm. Maybe we can offer Mr. Met to serve as a butler to the Philly Phanatic.

If I were you, I would dial down the optimism regarding next week. Heck, Alderson admitted yesterday he has not heard anything about Jose’ Reyes. Sandy, he’s not in the witness protection program. He was spotted the other day in Philadelphia and he was not there to have his picture snapped arm around the Rocky statue.

Like I said, I’m confused.

This is tantamount to re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Or shuffling the stack of papers on the over-worked underpaid office worker’s desk.

Here is a novel idea: how about giving the fans something to get excited about in 2012 besides re-configuring the obnoxious Citi Field dimensions or sprucing up old uniforms with a new 50th anniversary patch (that’s one World Championship every 25 years).

Furthermore, I am getting a tad tired of playing armchair bean counter. Let’s see, how can we slash more payroll? Yes, let’s keep Angel Pagan because he is a bargain (at a potential $5 million), and overlook the fact he dogged it most of the season. And, Chris Capuano has priced himself out of a Mets (new-old) uniform because he proved his arm is sound.

My feelings have nothing to do with Jose’ Reyes impending departure (technically he’s already gone). It’s about being pro-active. That does not mean shopping David Wright, who still has two more years in a Mets uniform.

(Alderson is trolling the waters to see if someone bites on Wright. Otherwise he would’ve squashed the scuttle from the get-go. His modus operandi is to save the Wilpon’s money, first and foremost).

Maybe Sandy needs a hearing aid because the off-season bell has rung and he didn’t hear it. Reuben Amaro did. The Philadelphia GM has already signed an insurance policy for the injured Ryan Howard at first base, Jim Thome and doled out $50 million for a new closer, the pursed-lipped Jonathon Papelbon.

Oh, I forgot, the Mets plight should never be compared to the team directly south. Amaro has made it his business to distance his club from the sagging franchise to the north. So today our expectations are very different from the Phillies.

Once upon a (long ago) time the Mets ate the Phillies’ lunch. But, that was when Wilson was avoiding getting hit by Bob Stanley instead of the ax, or trickling a ball through Bill Buckner’s creaky pins. The Mets have been living on the fortunes of the 1986 team for over a quarter of century now, and therein lies the problem.

It’s heresy in these quarters to mention the Mets and the Phillies (Yankees, etc.) in the same breath. Soon it might also include Miami, Atlanta, and Washington. Hey, we are so low the curb looks enticing.

If Alderson wants to revamp the bullpen then target the pieces and attack. For the fans’ sake, don’t wait to sift through the scraps in the bargain basement bin. For goodness sakes man, you are a general manager not a magician. Not everyone can be had for a one-year contract.

Want Joe Nathan or Octavio Dotel, go get him. Instead Alderson plays the waiting game and hopes the price drops and the Brad Lidge’s of the world lands in his lap. Or he thrusts the “IF” scenario out there, ‘IF Johan Santana is healthy or IF Ike Davis recovers from the most prolonged ankle injury in history, the team has a shot,’ babble.

Where have I heard that rationalization before? Oh, last season when speaking about Jason Bay, Johan Santana, Chris Young and a cast of castoffs.

Every year it seems the rebuilding process (management shuns the term) gets moved back a year. Now the projection is 2013 that the Mets will be back in the hunt. By the middle of the summer it will be 2014.

How do you fix an ailing club? Well, you don’t allow your primetime players to depart in their prime. Draft picks be damned. Projecting high school and college players to the ultimate level is harder than finding a stand-up administrator or coach at Penn State.

I would love to see the Mets beat another team to the punch for talent for a refreshing change (and to be realistic, I am not chanting for Albert Pujos or Prince Fieldler), instead of being punched in the gut all winter.

I have to say, that although the 2011 version of the Mets is a win, a loss, a loss, a win, there have been no dearth of exciting comebacks this season. For instance, take last night. Down and almost out, they rallied with big hits by David Wright and Lucas Duda (he is starting to relax, and this kid has immense power) to stun the Padres 9-8.

Uplifting to say the least, especially after the Braves ate the New Yorkers’ lunch again over the weekend. The names change, from Greg Maddux to Jose’ Constanza (if I heard one more “Seinfeld” reference by Gary Cohen, I was going to heave-George spelled it, “Costanza,” albeit they sound very similar) the results are the same. Mets bow to Bravos.

And of course, Chipper Jones will rise from his death bed someday and get a game-winning knock against the Mets (just like on Sunday). Only the Braves can promote a career minor leaguer who then proceeds to wreak havoc on the Mets order of things. Constanza made circus catches, ran the bases with abandon, supplied the long ball, and took out our second best hitter for the season with a questionable slide. Bravo!

Speaking of injuries, I’d have to take an educated guess, that besides Cleveland, the Mets lead the league in lost man hours (maybe for the last four years too). Who says we can’t lead the league in something.

Don’t get me started on Ike (approaching 80 games for a bone bruise is maddening). Moreover, maybe the Mets should convert Murphy to catcher-it would be safer for him behind the plate than second base (or the outfield for that matter). If the organization had a heart they would move him to the AL where he could play first, third, and DH (another guy I admire because he never makes a peep and plays hard, although his baseball compass gets jammed now and again).

Seriously, it would have been nice to compete with a stacked deck; Delgado, Beltran, Pedro, Jose’, Bay, Ike, Wright, Murph, and Johan, all penciled in the lineup at the same time. That is a lot of take home pay the Wilpons doled out, with MRI’s, ice pacts, and ibuprofen for zero production. Then again, the chronic injuries opened the door for Murph, Duda, Dillon Gee, and Justin Turner.

Turner seems to be in the middle of the action every time he’s on the field. He’s my kind of player; heady and human (now, I could stand less of the human error side). He could be our Martin Prado, Omar Infante, and Placido Polanco, a contact hitter that can play more than one position, aka, a sparkplug.

So with the season now in the Dog Days, it seems like the perfect time to flirt with football (who could blame Shaun Ellis for taking $5 million from the Pats when the Jets insulted him, and Rex needs to grow up). But, every time the news surrounding the Mets gets worse, and seems like the optimal time to jump ship, something miraculous happens: they stage an unlikely comeback and instill faith for one-more day to the brow-beaten faithful.

It will be interesting to see how the remaining weeks impact the formation of the 2012 edition. Taking a series from the Braves would be welcome (seems like a long time ago when the bartender had to put TBS on in the local tavern (no other game) in the late 80′s and everybody laughed. Atlanta has had the last laugh, including 14 Eastern Division Crowns).

Finally, I enjoy broadcaster Keith Hernandez’s quips, but like Art Linkletter’s kids, he says the darndest things. For instance, last Friday when discussing the Wild Card race he declared that St. Louis “better win it because they are not catching Milwaukee”. At the time the Brewers held a THREE game lead with around 60 to play, and a bevy of head-to-head matchups remaining. Now if mulled that with a 7 game lead with 17 to play the Brew Crew was safe….Never mind.

Steve Blass won 19 games in 1972 for the Pittsburgh Pirates and finished second in the Cy Young Award voting to Philadelphia’s Steve Carlton. Lefty accounted for 27 of the 59 Phillies’ wins that year, but Blass was solid, and also averaged 14 wins a year for his career.

Then the unexplained happened: he could not throw a strike in 1973 and slipped to a hideous 3-9 and a 9.85 ERA in 88 innings. His precipitous fall from grace was precluded by countless trips to the optometrist, shrink, and even the minors. By 1974 he was toast. He pitched five innings and was shown the door. The moving plate mystery also afflicted outfielder Rick Ankiel when he once was an up and coming pitcher for the Cardinals.

Blass had the good sense to retire. Why do I bring up a pitcher from a bygone era? Because his tale of woe reminds me of the ineptitude of Jason Bay.

As Blass soldiered on in ’73 it became painful to watch. I get the same empty and sorrowful feeling watching Bay flail away hopelessly nightly. At least in Blass’ era there was not as much video. Today, after every Bay misadventure at the plate we are treated to a close-up of his contorted visage as he lips into the hallway for the R-rated dress down.

Enough! The fans have maxed out the sympathy quota for Bay. What about the players’ feelings? Well, he can go buy a litter of puppies with the $66 million he is heisting from the team (and fans who pay the freight) to sooth his feelings. I frankly cannot watch anymore. Even a train wreck becomes boring after the smoldering fire peters out.

Bay might be the first player I make a point NOT to watch. Forget about his loss of power, the man can’t hit the baseball period. He’s 0-23 (6 games) has no extra base hits since May 19th and SIX on the season. He has TWELVE runs batted in. Sorry, he did hit one well to center field last night that was caught. He also struck out with two runners on in the 8th, but was picked up by Ronny Paulino’s ensuing three-run homer.

When he returned to the lineup after missing the first two weeks of the season there was too much rejoicing in the fact he was getting some base hits. I remember noting that all of the balls he hit were to the right side of second base and he was hardly driving the ball. Now, a HBP constitutes a streak for Bay.

The the solution, of course, is to keep running him out there but it’s becoming futile. And ugly. At home the boos keep raining down as the volume increases with every feeble at-bat. Perhaps a trip to the minors might the perfect panacea for Bay (will never happen). Or maybe check his vision. Has the medical staff done their due diligence with Bay’s lamps (don’t answer that)?

Steve Blass explored every avenue before hanging his spikes up. The Mets can only dream that Bay will become so flummoxed that he packs up and heads home to Canada. Not with all that cash remaining on the ledger-bank on it.

At first I was in favor of trading Jose Reyes for a small bounty but now it’s impossible to think of him with another club. He really is sticking it to the man, as they said in the 1960′s. But his trade value goes down as the trading deadline nears. Who will pay that much for a rental? Unless they are given a window to negotiate with Reyes’ people, then the Mets can recoup more talent. However, at this point they ought to offer him five years in the $100 million range and see where that leads.

Believe it or not, there are currently 26 major leaguers who have garnered a $100 million dollar contract or more (the Mets have two-Johan Santana and Carlos Beltran). If Reyes wants “Carl Crawford” money the Mets are short by $40 mill, or so. However, a good faith offer of eight figures should show hard working New Yorkers that is more dough for ten lifetimes and leaves the ball in Reyes court. If he flees then I hope both his hamstrings pop.

If Sandy Alderson lets him go for some draft picks (the baseball draft in not the NFL) then the fans should revolt and pull up their bricks up from around Citi Field. Reyes is the most entertaining player in the game right now and NYC should be his stage. If the Wilpons can’t afford him maybe Mr. Einhorn can.

If ever there was a free-agent that would make cavernous Citi Field look small it’s Prince Fielder. But, with Ike Davis here you can forget about him relocating to Queens (you could move Ike to right). Nevertheless, it’s a pipe dream and besides, Fielder would probably morph into Mo Vaughn the second he arrived.

In Doug’s Dugout today we discuss: the updated version of the Boss, the scrappy Mets, and other imbecilic thoughts.

I have never seen such a firestorm over benign comments made by an owner until the other day when excerpts from Fred Wilpon’s confessional in the New Yorker was released (you see the size of that piece-11,000 words-around 32 pages on Word!).

What did he really say that was so objectionable or off the mark?

That David Wright isn’t a superstar? Bingo!

He’s a good player and stand-up guy, correct. But he strikes out too much (the object of the game is put the ball into play and apply pressure to the defense).

He represents the city and Mets well, but how confident are you when he steps into the box with two outs and two on down by a run in the ninth frame?

By the way, he makes $14 million gross this season and he has flaws.

That Jose Reyes has been oft-injured and won’t get Carl Crawford denero? Maybe he should have clarified that by saying, “not from me he’s not.”

From someone who remembers the vaunted $100,000 club of Mantle, Mays, et al, I’m never surprised (maybe aghast) when a player breaks through another monetary milestone (did you know there are approximately two dozen major leaguers who have a signed $100 million contract in their sock drawer?).

That Carlos Beltran is 65-70% of his former self? Maybe he’s wrong there. He’s 75% of his former self, otherwise he’d still be roaming center field, not a Buffalo Bison player (that said, I like the way Jason Pridie patrols center, but he is no Beltran in his prime). What player in his mid-thirties is ever 100% of what he once was in his heyday?

Now, if Fred is spewing sour grapes he has no one to blame but himself and his idiot son. The both signed off on some horrendous contracts recommended by Steve Phillips and Omar Minaya. From Kevin Appier (because they lost Mike Hampton) to Mo Vaughn, who was shot, to Jason Bay (more on that later).

The fact is the long term contract invariably favors the player, not the owner. How many players who have inked (not only the Mets) deals surpassing four or five years have run full speed through the finish line? Take the Mets (please!). Pedro Martinez? Nada. Luis Castillo, Oliver Perez, and now Bay?

How is the Johan Santana deal looking now? Like a foundation built on sand (he’s still owed $55 million factoring a buyout in 2014). Do you believe the Mets want to shell out $17.5 million next season for Frankie Rodriquez regardless how stellar he’s been.

All of these deals become an albatross around management’s neck in time. Beltran had three wonderful seasons. I will give him a half this year before he’s moved. 3 and 1/2 out of 6 does not cut it when the player signed smack in his prime. So I can understand Wilpon’s resentment.

His problem was getting poor advice from constructing the team. He brought in Sandy Alderson to lay the groundwork for a farm system that pipeline isn’t clogged with gunk. When was the last time the Mets developed a star outfielder? Darryl Strawberry was the last and he arrived in 1983. Mike Pelfrey and Jon Niese are home grown but are either more than a 3rd or 4th starter talent?

Wright and Reyes prove how essential it is to build a core from within. Then again, a lot of luck is involved. Steven Matz, the kid pitcher from Long Island and number one draft pick of a few years ago,already has arm issues. Sometimes that’s the way it goes.

Alderson’s plan is reconstruct the minor leagues, and augment the developed talent with mid-level free agent signings. I believe he is not a proponent of long-term contracts. Maybe that’s a good thing for the long haul and considering the Wilpon’s lousy track record and vanishing fortune.

It’s funny, all the positive talk about the Mets hovering around the .500 mark seemed to dissipate into the ether when Pelfrey could not close out the Yankees in the rubber game on Sunday. He should be a horse and take his team to the line with gusto (not just complete the 6th inning), but like a speed ball he faded in the home stretch.

Then came Fred Wilpon’s untimely comments and last night’s shellacking by the Cubs. Nevertheless, if the Mets finish 10-games under .500 Terry Collins still gets my vote for Manager of the Year of the Buffalo Bisons.

Here’s baseball in a nutshell when the gods are not smiling down upon you: Bay departs due to a troublesome calf, and is replaced by Fernando Martinez. Bay has been solid in left all year. Martinez boots a routine single on the first ball hit to him and the Mets accumulate more miscues than runs. On the other hand, the Mets miss Bay, the singles hitter in the attempted comeback.

Finally, the one Yankee who impressed me this weekend was Curtis Granderson. He re-enforced that last night with a 9th inning two-out single that tied the game with Toronto, and eventually scored the winning run with his dynamic wheels. I remember when the Mets once had a dynamic center-fielder. Don Hahn!

In Doug’s Dugout today we discuss: Striking while the iron is hot, Father Time, and other insipid thoughts.

In around ten weeks Carlos Beltran will be an ex-Met. That is a foregone conclusion. His comeback is one of the only positive stories the Mets have written this year. But why wait?

The iron is hot and the time to strike is now. Timing is everything and the stars are aligned for the Mets to reap more than payroll relief. After all, the fans don’t give a hoot about how many millions the Wilpons will save (pocket). They want a return for one of the team’s few commodities.

There is a team on the other side of town reeling (for them). Their arch rival, the Red Sox, just left town with their meal money and internally there is strife (more on that later).

The Yanks never allow the wheels to completely fall off before they make a move. Right now one is wheel (the offensive) has a flat time. Think about it: Beltran is a perfect fit for the Yankees for many reasons; they can absorb his salary, he’s a better player than their two corner outfielder’s combined, and there might be an opening at DH.

Moreover, the Yanks are loaded with prospects. I haven’t seen such a seamless match since Brad Pitt hooked up with Evelyn Salt. Maybe Monty Hall will even chime in with, “Let’s Make a Deal!”

Why wait until Beltran pulls up lame again? His stock and home runs are soaring. He can play right-field in Yankee Stadium with his eyes shut wide (can Swisher field one ball cleanly?). Why wait until the Yankees lumber awakens from their slumber?

If the Yankees allow the Mets to stick their paws into their plush farm grab-bag in exchange for Beltran’s services it’s a win-win for both sides. Imagine Beltran batting left with the short porch in his cross hairs?

On the important end of the spectrum, the Mets might be able to pluck two prime prospects and begin replenishing the 40-man roster. Nevertheless, Brian Cashman has a propensity for keeping his top prospects and offering second tier talent.

The Mets should have no reservations about taking the Yankee’s sloppy seconds. If that means one of their potent catching prospects, such as Gary Sanchez or Austin Romine (forget Jesus Montero) then whoopee. How about one battery-catcher and pitcher, in exchange for the lame duck Beltran.

Andrew Brackman is not in the same class as Manny Banuelos and Dellin Betances, but the reviews are decent. He is projected to hit the majors in 2012, and if he does not work out, at least he replaces Chris Young as the tallest Met in team history (he is seven-feet tall). Or hold out for Ivan Nova.

Let the rebuilding begin, and make no mistake, the Yankees would listen if Alderson calls.

Father Time does not hold the subway doors for anyone, Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, or Jorge Posada. Ruth ended up with the Brooklyn Dodgers, a shell of his former magnificent self, The Mick playing first base in the Mike Piazza class, and Posada was given a $13 million severance sentence this year to go out gracefully (and quiet).

If he wants to squawk about batting ninth (and he’s batting only 30 clicks from the Interstate at .165) and then pulling a Scottie Pippen or Raul Mondesi, security can escort him to River Avenue by the bill of his par-tarred helmet. The Yankees (or any team) owes him nada. He owes the organization all the trinkets in his vault.

He’s lucky he’s not batting 10th! Because he has built up mucho currency over the years he can buy a mulligan. But, you can be sure that he will be on super-secret probation the rest of the way. I can recommend a fine replacement. hint, hint.

Another day another Mets injury. When your Iron Man, David Wright goes down it’s time to call in the Witch Doctor. This team is spooked, hexed, jinxed and if it didn’t have bad luck it wouldn’t have any at all.

I think the black cat that ran in front of Leo Durocher in 1969, right before the Cubs collapsed, has followed the Mets over to Citi Field.

Willie Harris had an uncanny ability to make the spectacular play against the Mets, and now as a Met, he’s killing the team from the inside. Hey, lets not place all of the team’s woes on pitchers dropping like flies, the revolving door at second base, and a lack of clutch hitting by the usual suspects, but Harris has been a one man rally killer.

Sandy Alderson has shown that with his sub-500 team, he will make some changes. How about focusing the attention on one of the worse benches ever assembled? Now that Daniel Murphy has cooled off, maybe his return to the pine will yield more than splinters. He has shown a proclivity for a timely hit in the pinch.

On Sunday, Terry Collins had the luxury of inserting Carlos Beltran into a pivotal moment of the loss against the Dodgers. Beltran failed to come through, but the fans don’t have a gripe with his performance this season. He’s healthy and not experienced or proficient as a pinch-hitter.

Unfortunately, the professional pinch-hitters on the team are not doing the job. In fact, once a slam-dunk recipient of the “Gary Matthews Award for Futility,” thought to be going (going gone goodbye) to Scott Hairston, Harris has now drawn into serious contention to be handed his walking papers.

It isn’t going to be Jason Pridie. Not with the way he has patrolled center field and shown a lively stick. He is loving his time in the big leagues and that is translating into competent play. As for the other two Mets backup outfielders, if management could replace them both they probably would.

Speaking of the bench from hunger, how can a conversation not include Chin-Lin Hu? I have never seen a more overmatched player in the majors. Except for a lone sac fly, I can’t recall him making contact let alone make a bid for a base hit.

I might insert Al Leiter to pinch hit for him. Remember Mr. Koo? The little lefty reliever showed more pop and if Hu reaches the Mendoza line, he should get a new contract. At least his name has brought the old bit by Abbott and Costello back into the mainstream (Who’s on First-not Hu, that’s for sure).

Its hard to have all your hitters firing on all cylinders at the same time but when David Wright and Jason Bay slump in unison the team has no shot. Wright took a 3-1 fastball right down the middle and Bay whiffed when the Mets tried to mount an attack in the 9th inning Sunday.

After Jose Reyes’s fourth triple of the home stand there was a glimmer of hope until Wright and Bay doused the flame. Just once I’d like to see Bay contribute to a comeback win. Even his outs are going to the right of second base, as he hardly pulls the ball anymore.

You can bet if someone want to take him off the Mets hand they’d drive him to the airport in a limo stocked with cold brews.

In Doug’s Dugout today we discuss: The North Atlantic, a Twin Killing, Tulo, and other assorted feeble thoughts.

I suppose if the Titanic once sank in April so can the Mets.  However, it is only two weeks into the season, and way to early to lower the lifeboats, but the team is taking on water.

If you can’t see that with yesterday’s double-header killing you need to remove the rose-colored glasses or get a seeing eye-dog.

That was ugly yesterday.  In fact, if you stayed through the end of game two, you saw the ball boy make the best play on the field for the home team all day.  If only his working papers allowed him to travel with the team.

The outfield defense was offensive.  Can we send the prospective right-fielders out there after shagging many pre-game fungos?  It’s like whomever takes that position for the Mets is negotiating a mine field.  From Lucas Duda to Scott Hairston-even Carlos Beltran let a catchable ball fall at his field (see Chris Capuano’s biting quotes about some hits should’ve been outs).

Moreover, Willie Harris routinely made spectacular grabs against the Mets, but he can’t handle the routine ones for them.  Ouch.  And, Jason Bay’s side still hurts.  The rest of baseball’s sides also hurt from laughing.

Well, when your bench players become regulars they become exposed (the old joke about the backup catcher crying when the starter went down comes to mind-”now they’ll find out I can’t play”).  Speaking of fly balls….

Seems the Rockies’ right fielder had no problem handling David Wright’s game one ending drive.  He wasn’t lost in the Bermuda Triangle, er, The Mo Zone, like several of the Mets have been.  In the third year of existence can anyone definitive tell me that the Mets have a decidedly home field advantage at Citi Field?

From not knowing where the fences are located to complaining about them being too far away from home plate, and Beltran wearing sunglasses at night (Cory Hart must be his idol-see the 1980′s my friends).  The park has only added to the team’s woes.

In fact, the team formally known as the “Blake Street Bombers,” made the park named for a Bank play like Citizen’s Bank Bandbox during the wretched four game sweep.  Balls were crashing into the seats with such force fans were taking cover under the Shea Bridge.

Speaking of homers.  The new manager might be fiery but his decision to pitch to the unconscious Troy Tulowitzki with a base open in the opener was plain dumb.  When one player is toasting you with regularity Plan B should be enacted.

Either walk him intentionally or dust him.  Tulo was dug in so deep in the series they needed an excavator to unearth him for his four-base cameo.  Can just one Mets pitcher do something to make him uncomfortable at the plate?

When a 160 pound second baseman takes you deep (for a three-run home in game two) it’s time to get on the charter, tails tucked.   I’d rather not hear Terry Collins extol the virtue of his team for hollowing transforming a 6-2 deficit into a one-run loss.  You know what close counts in: horseshoes and hand grenades, not major league baseball games.

Here is the recipe for disaster: Walks, extra outs, styling on the bases, lack of timely hitting (Jose Reyes and David Wright could not deliver in the pivotal ninth inning of game one) and blather that the team battled back (sounds like Jerry is still here).

Here’s a question to ponder: Are the Mets playing tight because their manager is?  Collins will blow this weekend-at the umpires-guaranteed.  He’s a powder-keg, which is why his players better start playing crisp baseball-for everyone’s sake.