It’s true what they say, you really do learn something new everyday. This morning, I read this piece by Howard Megdal who spent his entire day yesterday venturing up and down aisles of the new Amway Business Center at Citi Field.
It looks like Howard took full advantage of all the amenities they had to offer, with the hosts at Amway, killing him with kindness every step of the way. Speaking of steps, Howard even took off his shoes and socks at one point of the tour and “stepped onto what was described as a highly complicated scale.” I can’t wait to get my bare feet on that gadget myself one day – perhaps in my next lifetime.
His adventure led him to another fascinating area where he was treated to a state of the art facial analysis that examined the pore spray charts on his face and determined he would benefit by using six different skin products to correct the flaws that were uncovered during this process.
I remember hearing Mariah Carey talk about something like that during a 3:00 AM infomercial I saw last summer during a sleepless night with nothing else on the tube. Plus it was Mariah, so I wasn’t that motivated to change the channel anyway, I mean look at that skin… It is quite amazing how far skincare technology has come.
Howard also marveled at all the bright colors in the form of energy drinks that reminded him of a high-tech juice bar fronted by neatly aligned bar stools. Be right back, I’m getting thirsty…
All in all, it sounded like a trip to Futureworld – only in this version the hosts don’t try and replicate you and then have your body-doubles kill you.
“Bring your kiddies, bring your wife, guaranteed to have the time of your life.”
It a wonderful 450 words, but the problem was that the piece was more like 3,247 words and the rest of it was the same old “Bernie Madoff - Irving Picard – CRG – Bankruptcy – Gloom & Doom” tirade we’ve all come to expect from Howard seemingly once a week.
This crusade of his may last longer than the one Pope Urban II started in 1095 and lasted more than two centuries. At least the body count in Howard’s crusade still remains at zero. Small favors.
The timing of this was off-putting to me. I mean it’s March and most Met fans I meet are more interested in what’s happening in St. Lucie these days and none have yet to admit they have plans of getting the VIP tour at the Amway Business Center.
I wondered why Howard was shivering through those ice-cold wind gusts in Flushing yesterday, rather than enjoying the warm, sunny breezes in Port St. Lucie instead while covering the Mets with all the other beat writers.
It was an answer I felt I needed to know so I called one of the beat writers this morning at 7:45 AM, and he told me to make it quick because he was in the clubhouse talking with one of the players.
“Is anyone from the Journal News there with the rest of you covering the Mets”, I asked.
“No, the Journal News doesn’t have a Mets beat writer anymore.” he said. “There was some kind of problem they had with the Mets I was told, I’m not really sure what happened.”
Continuing along my path of curiosity I asked one more question as quick as I could, “I thought Howard Howard Megdal was their beat writer?”
“Megdal,” he exclaimed. “Who told you that? He’s not a beat writer he’s a blogger. Look, I’m in the middle of a chat with Cowgill, I’ll get back to you when I’m done.”
“No need,” I replied. “I learned all I need to know.”
Boy, did that explain a lot…
At least I now have a better understanding of the situation, what with all that brouhaha last year about being stripped of his credentials.
I think of him now as the Mets version of Geraldo Rivera. His claim to fame was getting 30 million viewers to watch him open Al Capone’s secret vault only to find a few empty bottles of wine after a year long build-up. It still made for good television, but I still can’t see what Megdal’s end game is with the Mets and their owners.
What dark secrets is he hoping to uncover – and for whose benefit, his or ours?
Like the mysterious Deep Throat once told a young pair of Washington Post reporters named Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, “Follow the money.”
Anyway, 25 more days until Opening Day!