16
2012
5 Bold Predictions For The 2013 Mets
An article by Craig Lerner
This might be the third or fourth time that I take issue with something I read on Bleacher Report and replied with a counter-post or a reaction post. I’m sorry, but they make it way too easy. 
My latest quibble was with today’s post entitled:
5 Bold Predictions for the New York Mets’ Offseason
With a title like that, I couldn’t wait to open it up and see all these bold predictions. I am as big a fan of the Mets offseason as I am of the regular season. I look at each offseason as the preamble to the new season; in this case 2013. But alas, my enthusiasm was completely shot to hell the second I read the first bold prediction that the Mets would re-sign David Wright, and by the time I got to the fifth bold prediction I literally wanted to put my fingers in my eyes and swirl them around for a few minutes.
Bleacher Report
- Mets Will Sign David Wright To An Extension
- Mets Will Sign R.A. Dickey To An Extension
- Jason Bay Will Be Cut
- Mets Wil Revamp The Bullpen
- Mets Will Trade Daniel Murphy
Those were some real bold predictions, huh? Great job BR, nice way to go out on a limb…
Now here are my 5 Bold Predictions For The 2013 Mets:
1. Mets Trade Jason Bay, Zack Wheeler, Josh Thole, Jordany Valdespin to Twins for Joe Mauer
Now that’s what I call bold. The Mets bite the bullet and take on Mauer’s $23 million a year contract and solve their catching problem through the 2018 season. The Twins get a top pitching prospect and a versatile and toolsy player in Valdespin. Thole can be a stopgap behind the plate for them. To make our accountants happy, they take Jason Bay off our hands in the process while kicking in $5 million a year through 2018.
2. Mets Sign Oliver Perez
After a breakthrough season in which he posted career bests in BB/9, WHIP and ERA, Sandy Alderson catches everyone by surprise at the Winter Meetings and announces that he has signed left-hander Oliver Perez to a one-year $2.5 million contract. Perez was dominant in his short stint with Seattle in 2012, and it was enough to convince the Mets GM that Ollie was back. “He will be a valuable piece to our puzzle next season”, Alderson said.
3. Mets Sign David Wright, Name Him Captain, Give Him 4% Ownership Stake
There’s some more boldness for you. The Mets don’t just sign Wright to an extension, they offset the dollars with one of those $20 million ownership stakes they’ve been peddling which will just thrill Wright to death. David proudly accepts the Captianship, but says he will not wear a “C” on his uniform. because it reminded him too much of the “L” Laverne wore on Laverne and Shirley.
4. Fred Wilpon Steps Down As CEO and Chairman of the Board
That’s right, you heard it here first. With the team now heading in the right direction and all arrows pointing up, Fred Wilpon steps down as as CEO and Chairman of the Board and passes his keys to his son Jeff Wilpon. Jeff’s first order of business is to announce Fred Wilpon Bobblehead Day during the last home game of the 2013 season. However, the very next day,John Franco is called upon to oversee the cleanup by the NYC Department of Sanitation who are brought in to remove the 30,000+ bobbleheads strewn all over the field. new minority owner David Wright is on hand to give the cleanup crew some autographs and inspiration.
5. R.A. Dickey Teaches Knuckleball To Manny Acosta
Manny Acosta shows up to Spring Training and shocks everyone in camp when he unveils his new dancing knuckleball. “I spent the offseason working out with Dickey to teach me the knuckleball”, he said. “I couldn’t get it right no matter how hard I tried, but then R.A. started to wave his hands in front of my face and I felt this incredible force take over my body. I threw 25 pitches, all knuckleballs, and 23 for strikes. In my country we call this a miracle.” That wasn’t a miracle, you dork… It was a Jedi Mind Trick.
About the Author: Craig Lerner
I'm a data analyst and researcher for a leading news agency who loves life and is hooked on the Mets. I love following the Amateur Draft and have a particular fondness for the Mets Minor Leagues who I follow each day. Give me a cold beer, a summer day, and a Mets game, and I'm good to go.
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Craig, this is great. Something tells me San Diego will look to sign Ollie P though
Yup…b/c Omar is there…
When Omar signs someone that used to play for him or he scouted…its b/c they are buddy buddy…esp if the last name is perez…gomez….rodriguez…
When its Dickey, well everyone just says it was blind luck
then u guys wonder…
This was awesome! The last one was the best!
Love the humor.
How about Mets sign Oliver Perez and Dickey teaches him the knuckleball?
LOL, there isn’t a catcher in MLB that could take the punishment.
as odd as it may sound, if Perez finally has figured something out (say, striding toward the plate to try and keep his mechanics sound?), some team may just roll the dice and try him as a closer.
Talk about a Rolaids guy!
As long as it’s not the Mets that takes that chance.
I don’t care if he is the second coming of Mariano. Been there, done that.
I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants….
When I read that the Mets will trade Zach Wheeler for Joe Mauer, I knew this wasn’t serious LOL
People,
Bleacher Report is home to many kids trying their hand at writing. My friend’s son was writing for that site at 15.
Anybody can write there so to write a post here about an article written by a 12 year old is really poor judgement in my opinion. And that’s how old the author of this “alleged piece” looks like he is.
I mean did anybody who knows what Bleacher Report is just take this piece at face value?
C’mon people use your heads. Now random pieces by 12 year olds that just happen to be on Bleacher Report get reposted here?
There are a few grown adults here that act stupider than my 10 year old cousins… Just sayin.
My five bold predictions for 2013:
1) Sandy finally gets around to sending Jose Reyes a box of chocolates, citing he has a bigger budget to now work with.
2) Mets change their dynamic pricing to depend upon the outcome of the game and fans have to pay the difference in order to leave the park and go home.
3) Bud Selig gives Mets a 10 game handicap citing it’s in the best interests of the game.
4) Sandy skips attending 2012 Winter meetings
5) Met hitters panic and look for hit sign on a two-strike count.
2) Mets change their dynamic pricing to depend upon the outcome of the game and fans have to pay the difference in order to leave the park and go home.
LOL, nice.
It’s like Jersey.
Free to get in, but we charge you to leave.
Talking about predictions… who won the caption contest from a few weeks back?
very funny, thanks for the laugh!
Great post Craig,
The Wright prediction is not all that unrealistic. The Mets may not have enough money to sign him to the deal he deserves and David would love to be a partial Met owner. This would be the smartest thing Jeff has ever done. David is the rightful captain of the New York Mets and has been for five years now, but next year would be a great time to make it official.
As far as bringing back Ollie, what the heck, why not? He is not even the same person who stunk up Citi Field in 2009. We need a lefty in the pen, give him a shot.
not quite an owner, but they could do one of those deals that includes a personal service contract for when the playing days are over?
David Wright will sign a 10 year 10 mil extension
A few stipulations to the deal.
David Wright will become a part-minority owner in Sterling Equities
David Wright will have his name changed to David Wilpon, officially giving the Wilpons a MLB baseball player in the family..Fred Wilpon was a stud pitcher in HS and College ( Michigan ) until he blew out his arm..Jeff Wilpon after going from a prestigious HS in Long Island to a Community college in Florida, transferred to Michigan his junior year…where he got 36 AB in college, it was said that the only reason they allowed him to play was b/c his dad was a major contributor to the baseball team…nice to have a daddy pull strings for u when you dont have the talent to make it on your own…Jeff was then drafted as a favor by the expos gm in the last round, again as a favor to Daddy Fred…Jeff then retired after 1 week of spring training, after he found out that his dad could no longer pull anymore strings to get him on the MLB All-Star team that year…Hilarious that the wilpons were not able to convince Frank Cashen to draft their son…they had to call the expos to do it…
So to make up for all of this…
The Wilpons will offer David Wright a chance to be a Wilpon….in exchange for a 10 year 10 mil deal that will take David Wright all the way to retirement…
David Wilpon will then have to marry one or more of Saul Katz’s daughters.
Ollie signed by Sandy A is a good one!
How about a comeback for Bobby Bo…Mo Vaughn…and Roberto Alomar too?
Craigslist Expanded.
China buys out Citi Bank. They also buyout Citi Field which they rename “Rising Son” in honor of Mets new CEO Jeff Wilpon.
Hi Hotstreak,
You know that by renaming Citi Field “Rising Sun” some would think it was house for ladies of the evening….