The Unwritten Rules When Attending Ball Games

An article by posted on September 14, 2012

The season is winding down, and it’s time to point out some of the things that I have seen taking place at Citi Field this year. Some of the things have been getting under my skin. They are my pet peeves. You have heard of a do’s and don’ts list – well this is a dont’s list. A list of things you should not do while at the ball park. I like to call them the unwritten rules when attending a ball game, and everyone should be following them.

Rule #1 – Men should not bring baseball mitts to the ball park.

The cutoff age that someone should be allowed to bring a mitt to the ballpark is twelve…thirteen tops. There should be one of those signs outside the stadium like you see before you get on a roller coaster that says if you are at least this tall, you cannot bring your glove into the stadium. You are a spectator, not playing in the game. There is no need for a glove. If you want to bring your glove to have a catch in the parking lot before the game, that’s fine, but do us all a favor and leave it in the car when you’re done.

One of the perks of working in corporate America

Rule #2 – When you are sitting in seats directly behind the plate like the ones pictured above, act like you’ve been there before.

I hate turning on the television and seeing people sitting behind the backstop talking on their cell phones – waving and talking to the television camera, and on the phone at the same time. It’s embarrassing. It is OK to answer an occasional text message since you are now a television celebrity, and all your friends and family will be giving you play by play on what they see you doing. But please keep the cell phone use to a minimum. And try not to duck when a batter fouls a ball back into the screen – it can’t hurt you, that’s why the net is there.

Rule #3 – Do not drop your $9.00 beer to try and catch a foul ball.

Forget the ball. If anything, you should be doing everything in your power to save the $9 beer. If a ball is coming towards you, run the other way if you have a beer in your hand. Smack that ball away from you if you have to. It’s not that big of a deal to get a foul ball. You can buy a nice, brand new major league baseball in the store for around the same price you spent for that beer in the stadium. Some of the seats have cup holders now, so dropping the beer isn’t as much of a concern as it used to be, but it’s just not worth it.

This stadium needs more cowbell

Rule #4 – Do not bring noise making devices to the game.

You aren’t rattling the opposing team by making a ton of noise with your cowbell or whatever else you brought with you. All you are doing is driving the people around you crazy. Do you really think the people around you want to hear you wrapping on a cow bell for hours? There are only three reasons why fights start in stadiums – 1) guys get drunk and start hitting on other guys’ girlfriends 2) guys get drunk and don’t like when someone has the opposing team’s jersey on in their section 3) someone is wrapping on a cowbell or blowing into some kind of kazoo. The people around you will eventually snap. There is only so much one can tolerate. Unless Bruce Dickinson (Christopher Walken) is in your section demanding for more cowbell, leave the noise makers at home.

Rule #5 – Do not ask the guy sitting in the row behind you to take a picture of you and your girlfriend/wife.

Just don’t do it. Don’t let your wife or girlfriend ask either. Trust me.

These are just a few rules that will make sure your trip to the ballpark is a successful one. Do you have any pet peeves or unwritten rules to add to the list? Comment below if you do.

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