The Verdict is In on Mets Shortstop

An article by posted on April 3, 2009

Ok Mets fans, time for a little fun!  

MetsMerized Times, New York, Friday, April 3, 2009:

After only a few short hours of deliberations, the jury in the most crucial case of it’s kind found New York Mets shortstop, Jose Reyes, guilty of hitting the first Homerun for a Met at the new Citi Field. Transcripts of the trial were made public this morning and we were able to obtain a copy of them. Excerpts from the transcripts are written below.

Prosecution’s opening argument:

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury … what we have here is a case of Who Dunnit? Where? And How? I am confident that after hearing testimony and viewing the evidence, you will find that the defendant is guilty, beyond a reasonable doubt, of in fact hitting the first Homerun for a Met at Citi Field. Rumors have flown about who really committed this act. But only one individual could have done it. And we intend to prove who that individual was, here today …”

Defense’s Cross Examination of teammate David Wright:

Defense Attorney: “Mr. Wright, where were you on the afternoon of April 13, 2009?”

Wright: “I was at the ballpark for the Home Opener.”

Defense Attorney: “And isn’t it true, Mr. Wright, that you are considered a homerun hitter?”

Prosecuting Attorney” “Objection, your honor. Cause for speculation.”

Judge: “Overruled. You may answer the question, Mr. Wright.”

Wright: “I’d like to think I am a homerun hitter. Although I don’t hit as many as I’d like to!”

(chuckles from the crowd)

Defense’s Direct Examination of Jose Reyes:

Defense Attorney: “Mr. Reyes, were you at the ballpark on April 13, 2009?”

Reyes “Yes, I was.”

Defense Attorney: “And were you playing that afternoon?”

Reyes: “Of course! It was Opening Day at the new stadium.”

Defense Attorney: “And isn’t it true, Mr. Reyes, that you are known for your speed, base-stealing talent and ability to distract a pitcher while on the base paths?”

Prosecuting Attorney: “Objection, your honor. Relevancy. ”

Defense Attorney: “Your honor, if you will allow me to continue with this line of questioning, I guarantee that I will prove it’s relevancy.”

Judge: “Overruled. Continue.”

Defense Attorney: “Mr. Reyes, you may answer my last question.”

Reyes: “Yes, I am known for all of those things.”

Defense Attorney: “And isn’t it true that you are NOT known for your Homerun-hitting skills?”

Prosecuting Attorney: “Objection, your honor. That’s cause for speculation.”

Judge: “Overruled.”

Reyes: “No, I am typically NOT a Homerun hitter.”

Prosecuting Attorney: “No further questions.”

Prosecution’s Cross Examination of Jose Reyes:

Prosecuting Attorney: “Mr. Reyes, isn’t it true that you once hit THREE homeruns in one game?”

Reyes: “Yes.”

Prosecuting Attorney: “And isn’t it true, that because of your speed, you are more likely to hit an inside-the-park homerun than any of your other teammates?”

Defense Attorney: “Objection. The Prosecution is manifesting it’s own conclusions.”

Judge: “Sustained. Counsel, this line of questioning is inappropriate. Move on.”

Defense Attorney: “I have nothing further, your honor.”

The jury deliberated for only 3 hours, before reaching a decision.

Judge: “Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a decision?”

Foreman: “We have, your honor. We the jury, find the defendant Jose Reyes, guilty of hitting the first Met homerun at Citi Field.”

Judge: “Court is adjourned.”

We caught up with one of the jurors after the trial and this is what she had to say, “I really am surprised, but all the evidence and testimony led me to believe nothing else.Imagine, someone of Mr. Reyes’ caliber, hitting the first Met homerun at Citi Field. I wish him and the rest of his team nothing but good things going forward.”

*** For those of you who did not get the point of my story, I am predicting that Jose Reyes, a fairly unlikely candidate, will hit the first Met homerun at Citi Field, and who knows, maybe it WILL be an inside-the-parker!!  (Just a feeling … and I gotta make it dramatic!!)  By the way, this technically could come as early as tonight, but my prediction was originally intended for the regular season, not exhibition ball.

 

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