The Mets, right now, are in a holding pattern. Nothing has happened. Nothing. If something had happened, I’d be writing about that instead. So, as a little treat, I have compiled my thoughts of this off season and hopefully, you will find it funny.
-I’m really gonna miss Lastings Milledge and Paul Lo Duca. It seems like if you argue with an umpire and actually show some passion, then you’re gonna get kicked off the team.
-Yay! Mota’s pitching for the Brewers! This is even better than when John Franco pitched for the Astros because we get to heckle and boo Mota.
-What’s the deal with all these catchers? Is Omar banking on Schneider and Castro getting hurt? Just because we needed Mike DiFelice last year, it doesn’t mean we need him this year.
-If doing nothing is what it takes to be the GM of the Mets, then I could do the job and I’d have Dan Haren to show for it.
-We basically traded Lastings Milledge for a new jacket for Rick Peterson.
-In fact, Rick Peterson is still wearing his jacket.
-I’m going to miss Keith Hernandez calling Paulie “DeLuca.” Now who’s name is he gonna mispronounce? Schneider? Church? That’s a part of the SNY Broadcast that we’re only going to get 18 times.
-BREAKING NEWS: The Mets have just signed another catcher to a minor league contract.
-All I want for Christmas is a starting pitcher. Wait, I asked for that last year and I didn’t get it. Why bother this year?
-On the inside, we all know that David Wright is glad that A-Rod is staying in the Bronx. He came to the conclusion that “I love my 2nd baseman” doesn’t have the same ring to it as “I love my 3rd baseman.”
-I’m glad that Mota is gone, but now I have nobody to blame when the Mets lose…..wait….never mind.
-Somewhere, Mo Vaughn is having a steak dinner and saying, “Mitchell report say what?!?”
-Willie Randolph is still mourning the loss of Guillermo Mota.
-Why would we trade away Jose Reyes? Even that idiot Steve Phillips kept him around, so he must be something special.
-Can Wallace Matthews go write for the Phillies? It’s obviously a relationship that’s ment to be.
-When David Wright is upset, he watches the last game of the season. When Willie Randolph is upset, he better be watching the Phillies clinching the division, or the Red Sox winning the World Series, or better yet, he better be watching that manager in the Braves farm system. That was the best meltdown I’ve seen in a long time.
-BREAKING NEWS: Rick Peterson has taken off his jacket. The jacket will now be in the Mets starting rotation as the #2 starter.
I really hope something happens soon. This offseason is starting to look like last year’s.