What a Bunch of Turkeys! (Or sides…)
In keeping with a new off season resolution to only aim for the positive and lighthearted of our favorite game, I thought I would do something fun for my latest blog. Are you ready? (Everybody nods excitedly and screams,” Okay!”) Well alright then! Instead of a winners and losers of the off season, this will be “MLB Turkey and Sides”. For every delicious part of Thanksgiving, I have compared a certain player to. So here goes…
Sweet Potatoes: Barry Bonds – Like Sweet Potatoes are jealous of the popularity of the mashed, your jealousy of McGwire and Sosa drove you to the use of flavor/performance enhancers. More homeruns will not endear you to the fans if they don’t respect your attitude! We liked you better when you were just plain old Barry and not Baby Huey with a bat.
Mashed Potatoes: Paul Lo Duca – You brought so much to the Mets table these past two years Paulie. Alas, an alleged romp with a teenage tater tot helped punch your ticket out of Queens. Sadly, you will be replaced by some other spud behind the plate.
Cranberry Sauce: David Wright – One of my favorite parts of the whole Thanksgiving meal and the Mets team! Everybody loves your humility and team first attitude, willing to even lay down your hard earned place as Mets third baseman for Alex Rodriguez.
Turkey: A-Rod, Steinbrenner family, Scott Boras – I suppose you could say that the Yankees organization as a whole is a huge over cooked turkey. If that’s true it starts with the legs, Hank and Hal Steinbrenner who are slowly taking over from the Papa Turkey himself, George. You played right into Bor- Rods’ little hands, and now are on the hook for nearly $300 million bucks. I hope the all time homerun king being a Yankee is worth the hefty luxury tax. Lastly, A- Rod and Scott Boras, the breasts of the turkey itself, are a sure fire couple of boobs in reality. I have a feeling that the Yankees AND both of you might regret this whole thing.
In the interest of space I will close with the basket of rolls… kind of an honorable mention of sorts. Here they are:
Livian Hernandez, David Wells, Joba Chamberlain (clean off the bugs first), and C.C. Sabathia…
At the very least I hope I got a chuckle out of you, and wish all of you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving!
About the Author: Adam Baker
- jessep: on MMO Mailbag: What If Mets Find Cash In Stocking?: Since that quote of mine Ruben Tejada...
- Hotstreak: on Winter Meetings Wrap-Up and Renewed Hope For Mets Fans: Thank you both for your responses: ...
- Jimmy Broadway: on Featured Post: Examining Sandy’s Off-Season Signings… So Far: If tejada wasnt good enough for last...
- Diablo: on I’d Be Fine With Giving Ruben Tejada Another Chance – And A Short Leash: Didn't Tejada have an attitude back i...
- Matlack: on I’d Be Fine With Giving Ruben Tejada Another Chance – And A Short Leash: Yes, adequate, as in at least average...
2014 Opening Day
Write For Metsmerized Online
Mets Merized Online is reloading and looking for new writers to help cover the Hot Stove Season. We're also looking for passionate writers who would like to contribute new and original features.
Contact us now at GetMetsmerized@aol.com for more info and join the #1 Mets Fansite on the web!
Check Out These Great MLB Links!
Mets Autograph Signings
Mets Fan Apparel
Mets Autographed Baseballs
Baseball Card Supplies
For the best seats and lowest MLB ticket prices, go to PurchaseSeats.com. Get your Mets Tickets now and follow them on the road with Yankees Tickets, Phillies Tickets, Nationals Tickets and Braves Tickets!